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July 10, 2013 at 11:04 am #38354SaraParticipant
Hey there, I feel you with this situation because something as simple as being honest can be challenging. I’ve experienced depression and I know that sometimes you feel like it’s best to just shut yourself from even trying because you’ll look “stupid” or “desperate” or “childish” and many other critical thoughts that come to your mind. But in the bigger picture, this is just isolation which causes suffering. You have to learn to face your own inner critic and confront it so that when you do tell someone that you feel that they’ve hurt you, you do it with peace rather than anger.
“Peace comes from within, do not seek it without”- Buddha. Whatever your intention is will return back to you. Of course, you don’t mean to do this to yourself and I understand that, so this is why you have to learn how to challenge your inner critic because otherwise it will act like a parent which will try to own you. In terms of you saying that you are useless, you’re not; you are here for a reason because this Universe has blessed you with a life to live to create a purpose which is meaningful to you and brings you happiness. Have you tried counselling by any chance? I know that sometimes the sound of it can seem scary but it’s something worth trying out because then you can develop skills to conquer those thoughts that are stopping you to feel freedom. It isn’t an easy journey but it’s worth it because then you will be taking steps that will lead you to happiness with good relationships. You can start small, just by saying something as simple as “Do you mind if I have a word with you about something?” then opening up with something like ” about before, when you did what you did I felt a little bit upset, and I just want to clear the air” that way, it’s more peaceful than approaching with a panic and a thought that they don’t like you etc. I hope this helps you because as I said I know how difficult it can be, but you need to remember that depression is an illusion in a bigger perspective. Namaste.