Tiffany,

I have a different slant on this… I, too, had an Andrew who I had an amazing pull towards when it came to physical chemistry. He and I dated when I was 15 and he was 17 – for a year. Circumstances made me break up with him but we kept in touch about once a year. Odd things would happen after that – we would run into each other in different cities. This happened 4 times over several years. I thought it was strange how this would happen (This is what I would now call the Universe’s intervention).

Anyway, I married someone else and moved to a different country, losing touch with Andrew. Then, he found me on a social media site. I was going “home” for a visit and we agreed we’d meet up for lunch to catch up.

Here’s the shocker: We met for lunch 18 months ago. He hugged me hello and something bizarre transpired; I felt a current run through me that was indescribable. I had a flashback to the time we dated when I also experienced that feeling. I thought, “What the heck was THAT?” At the end of a pleasant lunch he hugged me again and the same electricity ran through me. Then, he pulled back with tears in his eyes and told me he has never stopped loving me and not a day goes by that he doesn’t think about me. He said he still loved me deeply and always has and can’t let me ever leave his life again. WOW, right?

Are you ready for this? It’s been 35 years since we dated in our teens!! I am now 50 years old.

The man I married was my best friend (no sparks); we had three children and throughout the whole time I knew SOMETHING was missing in my life. I thought there was something wrong with me on why I couldn’t connect the way I thought I should. When I hugged Andrew last year, it woke something in me and gained such clarity to my own situation.

The point of me sharing this with you is that I KNEW something was missing in my life: PASSION. That feeling of emptiness surfaced countless times throughout my marriage and was a big source of my problem. I tried everything to try to find fulfillment in an otherwise perfect marriage – we even went to marriage therapists. My husband is the kindest man I know.

I finally gathered courage and told my husband a few months ago that I didn’t want to be married anymore. He listened as I told him that I could not go through the next 25 years without passion like I did the past 25 years. I told him I didn’t want to ever cheat on him so I knew in order to give myself a CHANCE at finding passion, I needed to end the marriage. He understood because he is a decent man. I knew if I stayed married (the easiest route), I would NEVER have a chance at having someone whom I would feel chemistry. My husband and I are hoping to continue being friends. I am blessed.

You may ask, “Why did I stay married for over 25 years without the passion I needed?” Well, I tried many times to figure out a way to escape, but felt like I didn’t have a choice at the time. So, I learned how to cope and “numb” by going on antidepressants to deal with my situation, after all, my husband was a sweet decent man whom I loved – but more like a friend. Sadly, I put my needs last…

The soul craves to be fulfilled and will continue to pester us until we listen. I managed to quiet my soul through doctor prescribed medication – not the smartest of moves on my part. However, no amount of medication curbed the feeling I felt when the current ran through me at the restaurant with Andrew; it woke something in me that was dormant.

NO ONE should be with someone (or marry) if there isn’t passion. A companion does not make a husband (But! A husband can be a passionate lover and also be a wonderful companion). If there is no passion at the start of a relationship, don’t expect it to surface later. It’s called chemistry – you either have it or you don’t with someone.

BTW: Andrew settled, too. When he found out I married, he thought I was gone forever. Currently, he is married with 2 teenage children, who lives in a different country than myself. Regardless of how he feels for me, he may never be able to be with me, due to his own circumstances. He may also not be “the one” to provide what I need – even if he were free. The only thing I am certain of is that he was the one who woke me from my slumber and gave me strength to pursue what I needed.

Please do not SETTLE with the man you are with; always strive to find that passion you felt with your Andrew. It doesn’t mean it is Andrew you must have, though. There was a reason why he came into your life – it was to remind you what your soul desires. It is also telling you that you deserve passion in your life! Yes, you will find more men (not just Andrew) whom you WILL have chemistry with – each one bringing their own flavor of passion. Enjoy them all! Patience grasshopper…

And YES, I do believe things happen for a reason – important things! That’s the Universe waking us up to life’s possibilities.

I am a professional Intuitive Counselor and help many find what their soul craves.

I hope this helps.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Intuitive Mind. Reason: typos etc