i know we might not see eye to eye because i’m a teenager in high school and you’re, well, college but i’m sort of going through the whole anxiety thing. i’ve been suffering with anxiety a lot these past few years and it’s only getting a little better now. i mean it’s sort of a miracle that i’m actually talking to someone i don’t know right now. for me, it helps to do things i love. drawing, reading, singing, acting, playing music and all that whatnot because when you do things you love, all that matters is doing that one thing you love to do. or those many things you love to do. the fact that I’m not everybody’s favorite or i’m not the prettiest, funniest, most outgoing or whatever doesn’t matter and i feel like…i dunno…i’m awesome. you said you like journaling, drawing, and singing. you should keep doing those things. especially if you’re good at them because it would be a waste if you didn’t. and if you feel like you aren’t good at them, try improving or finding something that you are good at. if you feel yourself making excuses to not do them then force yourself to get up.
I understand you’ve gone through a lot in your life. I can’t say my life has been a smooth ride either. my mom and dad are separated, my sister ran away from home, i’ve been bullied almost my whole life, and that’s probably not even half of it. I’m not saying my life was any harder than yours. you’ve obviously suffered a lot. but what i’m saying is you can’t base you today on you from the past. you can’t let past struggles take over your life and ruin any opportunities that will come a knockin at the door. You gotta learn to love yourself so that you don’t let yourself feel like you’re worth nothing. You have to remember that whenever you fall, you will stay down unless you pick yourself up and keep on moving. Sorry if i’m being super cheesy. Google does that to you.
Also, remember that the only reason you’ll ever feel like there is no hope in the future is because you’re not looking at all the possible futures you could have.

I hope this helped. Best of luck to both you and me. Have an awesome day, night, today, tomorrow, and future.