Hello everyone.

I am in a very hard, painful, heart aching situation that I am have a VERY hard time getting over. So let me just give a back ground story so you get an understanding. Me Mac this girl, named Odalys (oh Dallas), Met in 10th grade and it was love at first sight. Had 5th period class together. Dated for two weeks till she broke it off and things were awkward till the end of the year.. all communication was lost that summer and I looked at it as it was a typical HS relationship. So I got with someone else. That wasn’t a serious relationship, I got with her to get over Odalys and it kinda worked I forgot about her for 4 or 5 months till I started thinking about her again. 11th grade comes and Odalys was moved to another city 45 min from me that summer.. but then her friend asked if I had talked to Odalys during the summer and I said no that I had been trying to get her contact info.. so finally ODALYS emails me and we were both super happy to finally be talking to each other.. I was happy and so was she… we talked 24/7 until I asked her to be my girl again… and OMG!! This girl was amazing. She was beautiful. She listened to me, she was funny and I was funny… we both were super weird and did things that other couples wouldn’t do CAUSE IT WAS WEIRD.. me and her just…. were perfect an we loved each other very very much. There was never enough love like.. we were always so affectionate and if she was hungry but didn’t want to eat I’d be like “no I’m taking you somewhere” or times when it would be like choosing a place To eat.. we would always go to our #1 noodle stop. Movies and cuddles were our thing like we never couldn’t stay away from each other we just had sooo much love for each other and we knew EVERYTHING….. we watched each other graduate, she was my date to winter formal and prom and omg… best nights of my life. I was so proud of her to see her graduate. They say that the person you should be with is the person that changes you to be a better person. I helped her get out of her comfort zone and just start living and now her she is this strong, fearless, woman that I’m just so proud of. I helped her out getting her first job which she’s still there after 9 months. She’s heard my deepest secrets that I’ve never told anyone. And I know hers…. I had really bad anxiety for 6 months and she stood by my side no matter how much it irtbto see me in such pain and suffering.. she always said I’d get better. And I did…. we only got into 4 stupid arguments… but we hated tension between us so we ALWAYS settled them THAT DAY… and believed that the next day would be a new day full of happiness and smiles all day and that’s how it was… she was my first time and I was hers… and yes it was very special.. we wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t so deeply connected.. obvi I wanted it more than she did haha which sucked but she didn’t want to risk anything since we are still so young… but i guess along the line… I messed up a couple times that I believe are to be stupid reasons.. one reason was because she had a cousin that was always so rough around me telling me “if you hurt her, I’m going make you hurt more than she did” and always was serious and he did that every time I would see him and it annoyed me and I guess she didn’t like that but I told her all I want is for him to just say that ONCE to me… not every time he sees me like it would be nice to just give him a hi and hand shake (which eventually we got to that point so)… then this last new year…. my mom kissed me off on my way to her aunts house and that ruined my whole night and I was in a bad mood almost the whole time and her family was trying to help me out but I was just really upset at my mom for pissing me off so Odalys didn’t liek that I was a buzz kill….. THEN…. ever since I got out of anxiety, I’ve beem more impatient and I’ve been more aggravated… so once night I went to a friend of mine (who is a girl but we just cool friends and Odalys knew that so) but that night I was texting odlays and she said for me to come home and she was talking kinda aggressively… I forgot but I got offended and was like “I’ll leave when I want to” and I mean I did…. but when I got home I was just so mad at Odalys for being so bossy that I took ALL my frustration out on her and…. I really really really hurt her….. I said things like “stop telling me what to do cause your not my mom and your not my wife so stop acting like it” and “your ruining my life with you always telling me what rob do” and also “this is your final warning”…. I was so pissed but afterwards I regretted it and I knew st that moment I messed up big time… and I did… she woke up at 11 pm to read that big angry message and she cried all night and stayed up…. and the next day I tried apologizing but she was HURT…. so we didn’t talk for two days until I went to her work and apologized face to face and made sure I stayed till things were ok… but I knew I really screwed thugs up…..

Anyway… here we are broken up.. AGAIN….. she said he main reason was because she’s catholic and I’m Christian and if we ever had kids it be confusing.. she also said that she needs to get her life together and focus on her since she really wants to move out of her parents house.. the small reason was because of me of when I lashed out at her and she just didn’t want that for her.. these two months of not being together have sucked. I love her very very very much.. she was my other gal and with her gone I’m losing control of myself and I’m becoming this stalker ex by creating this alternate Instagram account so I can still talk to her and that’s just been making me worse and I know I need to stop but I just really miss her and she was really special to me… I’m only human and I’m always going to make mistakes and yes I have learned from lashing out but the whole cousin thing… I mean it takes me awhile to get comfortable with family so. I’m my alternate account I asked her if she still loved me a little and she said yes. But then todsy I just was told that she “talking to someone” and that HURTS… again I really love this girl and… I’ve waited for her once and she’s worth waiting for again… her main problem was the whole catholic and Christian thing… but I know if it’s meant to be… that will be worked out… sorry my story is long!!!

Thanks