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James

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • in reply to: First date advice please! #110036
    James
    Participant

    Thanks Anita, I will do 🙂

    in reply to: First date advice please! #110029
    James
    Participant

    Hi Anita, I think I’m going to leave it for now. If I can think of a better way that won’t scare her off then I’ll do it. Perhaps I’ll drop in one day.

    On a lighter note, I almost had a heart attack today. I received delivery confirmation from the florist! It turns out it was just a technical error on their side!

    Thanks for your advice.

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109915
    James
    Participant

    It’s impossible to send a direct message which makes it quite challenging. I’ve cancelled the delivery. You’re right, I don’t know her from a bar of soap. Sometimes a picture says a thousand words though. My thought process was I’d rather risk being thought of as a stalker than not ever meeting her.

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109881
    James
    Participant

    Hi Anita, it’s a corporate environment. Also, I figured with a note she could always just ignore it if she wasn’t happy. If I go there then it might make it awkward?

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109825
    James
    Participant

    I know her name. I did consider the fact that it’s at her workplace, I think the only thing that could be potentially embarrassing for her is if her colleagues didn’t know she was doing online dating, and they read the card. But I needed to mention the app so she knows why/how I’m contacting her. I guess I could not mention how I know of her and then only explain if she contacts me?

    Thanks for your help.

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109822
    James
    Participant

    Yeah I agree, since any of these options are pretty stalkerish, I decided to go with the easiest which is just a note and flower via a florist.

    Thanks

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109817
    James
    Participant

    I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks 🙂

    in reply to: First date advice please! #109815
    James
    Participant

    Hi Anita, thanks for your reply. Not matching means doesn’t necessarily mean she declined. How it works is you both have ‘like’ each other before you can chat. So either she saw my profile and passed me over or there is a (smaller) chance that she didn’t see my profile because there are thousands of people using the app. I’m just worried that if I send a note or something then I scare her off for being creepy!

    in reply to: Not sure what to do #96740
    James
    Participant

    Hi Tami, we definitely both want to make it work. She has given me no reason lately to doubt that. I realised that because I am not emotionally fulfilled, I have been acting super needy and constantly seeking attention and reassurance and also being hyper-sensitive. I am also insecure and jealous so it’s not a great combo. When I’m with her it’s pretty great but I have developed a complete aversion to any social event with her because I will constantly be worrying about any guy that talks to her. Basically my instinct is to try and shut her off from the world because of the anxiety its causing me. When I’m away from her I get into a complete neurotic state. There is definitely a strong attachment which I realise is unhealthy. Most of the attachment articles I’ve read seem to focus on understanding that nothing is set in stone and people come and go etc but it’s not really helping me. I think she is also ‘attached’ to me but much less so because she is more secure than me. Also, she doesn’t have to contend with every other girl vying for my attention. I’m getting to a stage where the pain of being together makes me want to escape but I also can’t bring myself to do it.

    in reply to: Jealousy/Insecurity issue #96739
    James
    Participant

    Hi, I will raise it thank you. I’m not great at planning, I tend to just play open cards and take it from there. I think the worst is she doesn’t realise the kind of anxiety and constant worry it’s causing me, which leads to a vicious cycle of questioning everything in my head.

    in reply to: Struggling to achieve in life #96666
    James
    Participant

    Thanks for the replies LostOne and Anita. I think some time abroad is what I need. Building up the confidence to take the leap when I have sellable skills or faith in myself is the next challenge.

    Anita – I have been to a few psychologists. I find them ludicrously expensive and not very helpful to be honest. I end up worrying more about the bill than the issue at hand.

    in reply to: Jealousy/Insecurity issue #96631
    James
    Participant

    Thanks for the replies. Sometimes it’s not overt flirting. Most of the time is will be small talk that just goes on and on so that the guy can keep her attention. It’s the fact that I am excluded by him, and also that he is so keen to keep the conversation going that upsets me.

    in reply to: Not sure what to do #96554
    James
    Participant

    Thanks for the replies, there are some compassionate people on here.

    in reply to: Not sure what to do #96477
    James
    Participant

    Hi there, thank you for your reply. I want to give it a chance. The challenge is being able to be my own person while being in a relationship and then developing trust. I will see how it goes. Once again, thank you for your input.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)