I would be careful about the workplace. Maybe she posted info about herself that she shouldn’t have jobwise. Also, simply because the info was posted apparently by her, doesn’t mean that she wants potential suitors to go there.

Do you know her name or just what she looks like from the profile?

I am wondering how the co -workers around her are going to react to this and how it would effect the workplace/her employment. If there is no name on the flowers, etc.

I would buy a nice but not overly emotional card with a plain white envelope—write something like–“I would love a chance to get to know you, if you would like to know who I am and ask me questions (so you know I am not a stalker) call me at 122222222. ( I would not give my work #). If I do not hear from you I will not attempt to contact you again. You seem to be a lovely person but I want you to feel comfortable and safe.”

You need to not embarrass her–or yourself by saying or demonstrating to much—-put the ball in her court, let her follow up.

I am also wondering if instead on the card…. you could write your profile name and ask her to match on the app. Again say if she doesn’t you will not contact her again—you just want to give ships passing in the night a second chance.

(ps I personally like my second suggestion better)

Seaisland

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Seaisland.

Dear James:

Depending on her workplace: if she works in a clothing department store where people go through all the time, so can you. If she works in a any retail establishment where customers go in and out, so can you. I suppose other work places, like a school, a medical office, and such- not a good idea to visit in person. I am augmenting my reply then. What kind of workplace is it?
anita

Hello,

James, this IS creepy and stalkerish.

If you really want to try to contact her, send her a message through the site. If that is not possible, there are, as you say, thousands of people on the site. Someone of them will surely be interested in you.

I would try to understand why you feel that you have so much of a connection with this person you have never met, never spoken to, or never chatted with.

Best of luck.

Dear James:

And I agree with you: it is a risk- she may like it if you go to her place of work and she may not: she may strongly dislike it like one of the people responding above and she may less intensely dislike it like other repliers, or she may dislike it some at first, then be okay with it. Don’t know. So it is a risk. Since you can’t send her a direct message online, it is between giving it up and taking that risk. As long as you are doing nothing illegal (trespassing/ disturbing the peace…) and as long as you are prepared for a negative response from her, do it.

I like the boldness of you going to her place of work, personally- because she advertised it (if not, then I would definitely be against it!) I like your initiative and courage.

Post again with an update: I am curious to know how it works out.

anita