Wow thank you guys for the responses. First off I want to say that I’m doing much better today, having had some time to calm down a little, and meditate. (Which I do, perhaps not as often as I should though)
I’ve always been kind of an anxious guy I suppose, thinking the worst. Going back a long ways, growing up in a very negative environment, it was just what I learned to do.
Today I decided that no matter what life brings in the next few weeks, I will face it. My wife and I had a good talk, putting some things in perspective, about life and death. That’s a hard conversation, and it brought up some things that we both needed to say. She’s amazing, I lucked out with her let me tell you!
And although I still feel pretty darn anxious, screw it you know? Today I’m going to spend time with my wife and little boy, and play and laugh, and I’ll either sleep tonight or I won’t. I’ll either find work or I won’t. And I’ll either be sick or I won’t.