Thanks Virginia.

Hi Ben

I am sorry that you find yourself in such a state at 22. This is your time to fly high and enjoy your life but hey, some times, life throws a curve ball at us to keep us grounded.

You are not a bad person nor are doing anything wrong. Like Virginia said, mom is an adult and the only person who can help her is HERSELF. You can offer her moral and emotional support (and perhaps financial support if you can afford it) but you cant bring her out of her situation unless she is willing to do it herself.

There is a very fine line between responsibility and obligation. Be there for her but without any obligations. If you start to feel guilty or start holding negative emotions, then guess what will happen ? No one will benefit. A non-swimmer cant save someone from drowning. Similarly, you need to be in the right space mentally, physically, emotionally and financially to help others out including parents / siblings.

Offer prayers for her and your sister so that they both get the strength to move forward in life and be there for them as much your schedule or positive emotions allow. Be there for them without expectations or guilt or any negativity.

May you get the strength to move forward in life yourself.

Blessings,

Jasmine

Hi Trevor

Hello again.

Hey, most of us have had dysfunctional families at some stage. I have the best set of parents but I didn’t start appreciating them until quite late in my life. I didn’t like discipline or being told what to do from a young age. I was an extraordinarily stubborn child. So I held onto a lot of resentment for my parents for a long time even after I became financially independent.

With independence at all levels comes a realisation that you are capable of anything and you can lead your life the way you want to. And I did that but with anger and lots of WHY ME, etc. When someone told me that my parents were not at fault, I would get even more angry but this anger wasn’t hurting anyone except for myself.

Later, thanks to a random spiritual teacher, I found out that I was 100 % responsible for my miseries, stubbornness and sorrows and if I wanted to have a better life, I needed to let go of this anger. Parents do the best for their kids in most circumstances but unfortunately, kids do not come with a parenting manual. It is a trial and error process. I also learnt that everyone is trying to do the best in their capacity and no one is wrong at any time in their eyes. It is just a matter of perspective. Every coin has 2 sides, yeah.

If you want a happy existence and move forward in life, you can either let your parents know your true feelings and deal with what comes out (can be either good or bad) or you can forgive them as they didn’t really know any better and probably still don’t know any better. Everyone is imperfect as a human on this planet and everyone makes mistakes. Is it our role to make them into better parents ? I am not sure. It all depends.

Acceptance of one self and others is crucial for spiritual evolvement so I chose to spoke with my parents and made them aware of my anger when I was away from them (in my own home and not dependent on them). They dealt with it very well and over the course of few years, our relationship improved amazingly well and now I hold so much unconditional love for them. They have accepted me for whom I am and I have done the same. We have both evolved 🙂

At the end of the day, everyone is on their own journey. We come alone and we go alone. We meet certain people on the way, become acquainted with some and some become very entwined with our lives but MY life is MY life. If you are not happy with your life, there is no way you can make anyone else happy. We cant give out what we don’t have. By working on self, you will be able to move forward in life and forgiveness will come easy then. People who try to change others keep going around in circles of sorrows but those who do not waste their energies in trying to change others find an immense calmness and peace in their lives.

If you need to speak with someone physically then I suggest that you find a good clinical psychologist or an accredited hypnotherapist. It is always good to tap into professional resources rather than try and do it yourself if the anger is too deep and hurt is causing you physical symptoms.

Hope this helps,

Jasmine

Thanks everyone.

Wow Joan. That is a brilliant way of dealing with any negative emotion. I will have to try it as well 🙂

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Cheers,

Jasmine

My dear Prestozer

Thanks for putting a smile on my face with your query 🙂

In return, I would like to ask you if I should have curry today or pasta ? Which is the right one for me ? Or perhaps, should I wear a purple dress or a black one ?

Hey, it is your life. You propose when you want to and how you want to and to whom you want to. What is bugging you ? She will either say yes or she will say no. Either way, it will be fine. If she says yes, you guys have a great relationship and move forward in life. If she says no, you get to move forward in life and find someone else 🙂

Life aint that hard mate. Keep it simple and you will not need to spend your energy unnecessarily.

May you find the courage to move forward,

Blessings,

Jasmine

Thanks everyone.

Hi Elle

I am sorry for your suffering.

Hey, have you every questioned yourself as to why life has been throwing curve balls at you one after the other ? The day you understand the reasons behind them, you will change your path and create a new life for yourself.

One thing that you should definitely look into is the pattern of your thoughts and your beliefs over the last decade or so. Do you truly believe that you deserve happiness, love and peace in this life ? Or do you constantly tell yourself otherwise ?

There is a great book by an author by the name Susan Jeffers (who has left the body) – feel the fear and do it anyway – is a good start. If you get a chance, pls do look at the work by Louise Hay and Cheryl Davidson. All these women touch on the underlying cause of our grief and recurrent self limiting beliefs that stop us from moving forward with our head held high up.

I will offer prayers for you and hope you will find the strength and wisdom to move forward in a positive manner this time. May you find the reason that it is keeping you stuck in the rut years after years.

Blessings and please give us a smile 🙂

Jasmine

Thanks The Ruminant

Hi Sean

For some reason, I do not feel you are suffering from depression. Well, you are not exhibiting any features of it during your daily routine and in the way you have written that poem.

Despite having so much to do and with so many people in your lives (it may be superficially but you still have them), you are finding yourself lonely. I feel the key to your fulfilment lies in a task or tasks where you will be responsible for something at a larger level. For example: responsible for a partner, responsible for a kid’s upbringing, responsible for looking after someone who is in need, responsible for carrying out a charitable cause, responsible for making lives better for a community or country etc. You get the drift, yeah ?

You know the answer to your loneliness but perhaps do not have the way forward. Give it a shot mate. Start with a small step of contributing to someone’s well being and your loneliness will disappear.

Loads of positive energy coming your way and may you find the courage soon to take up responsibilities for a bigger cause 🙂

Jasmine

Big Blue

Now you really humble me. I must have done something really good today to deserve such compliments. Thank you so much. You will be in my prayers later tonight.

Cheers

Jasmine