Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it. Hopefully for the next guy, I need to learn to more effectively and. It get my friends involved. They slightly influenced my judgement but that’s a mistake on my part.

Hi Anita,

My relationship in 2016 was great with him, we established such an amazing bond and friendship and we were making it to something more. Then one day he messaged me and said I can’t see you anymore, I’m getting back with my ex. That was heartbreaking and I hated him for a while. When he came back into my life, we talked it out and I thought ok maybe I could over look it so we tried again but this situation was ringing in the back of my mind that the same thing would happen again. I was coming across controlling, blaming him in fights even though I didn’t realise the underlying issue of fear at the time.

Hi Anita

I forgot to mention initially I didn’t relise I was suffering from anxiety. I knew it wasn’t normal and I didn’t realise I was just taking it out on him.  Now he just thinks I’m crazy, we don’t speak anymore.

Thanks Anita for the advice. I really wish I could undo all the wrongs because at the time it was just spiralling out of control. I have deep sense of regret, I take full accountability of what I’ve done. I just had deep insecurities that he was going to leave like last time and I would try and break up with him to see if he really cared. At the time I didn’t even realise I was doing it. I can’t concentrate and I can’t fer it out of my mind. I have exams in 6 weeks and I can’t concerntrate or get it out of my mind. I feel like I’ve lost an amazing man, because I he didn’t do anything wrong apart from I felt I was always bothering him all the time. But if I look back it was all in my head.

I always found that when that I started to loose myself and continuously was focused on him. I am trying to love myself, but I was seeking happiness in him rather than being happy by myself in general if that makes sense. Sometimes I feel like i want find anyone new.