Stop the hurt by realizing that you can only control what you do. Think about how you want to be treated. Are you being treated that way? My answer from what you’ve written is NO. You can’t get around the hurt you’ll feel if you end this toxic (my opinion) relationship but good news- life goes on and if you resolve your issues (what’s making you stay in the relationship) the next relationship will be better. I went through 9 years of what your talking about and what a waste of time. I can’t get that time back but I pushed through the pain and sorted myself out. Now I have a good relationship. Not perfect because there’s no such thing. I don’t wait for him in this relationship and I am a person whose got self worth and that’s recognized by my new husband and the people that are our friends. I wish I’d smartened up so much sooner. Help is available and most insurance company policies cover mental health care. You can get good advise from a councilor, therapist, physiologist, or professionally monitored group therapy. You are not the only one with this experience but, don’t believe me. Go see for yourself and you’ll start forming the kind of life you should have.