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joannaParticipant
It’s a very complicated situation. I understand your confusion, but I can’t really elaborate on a public forum. Suffice to say, there are responsibilities I have to those I love who are vulnerable, which means I can’t walk away.
November 12, 2018 at 11:05 pm in reply to: try to stay positive, but things keep going wrong #236599joannaParticipantThank you for your comments and thoughts. I don’t follow the ‘happy clappy’ method of positive thinking, and am fully aware that bad things happen for us to grow. I just sometimes feel burdened that each time I try to make something good from all the bad stuff: more bad stuff appears that stops me being able to do some good? Does that make sense? I am not a fan of books like The Secret. I do feel there is truth in being relaxed helps to attract relaxing circumstances, but obviously you have a world where Buddhist monks have been violently murdered for their beliefs etc, so it does not seem to wash.
I am not looking for karma as revenge. I am just trying to find some inner peace, by understanding why each day almost is a lesson in suffering. Surely as it gets too much, a cosmic break would enable me to be of more service to others?
November 12, 2018 at 10:35 am in reply to: try to stay positive, but things keep going wrong #236525joannaParticipantThank you so much. I love animals so much, enhanced because I have almost lost faith in the goodness of humans. I know there are wonderful humans out there too. You say you don’t have answers, but just a friendly reminder that people with genuine compassion and empathy do exist, makes it easier to be more hopeful. Thank you. xx
joannaParticipantThank you for all your suggestions. He is better today, I know he was concerned as he was stressed about something. He usually is okay but when he gets stressed, I get the verbal brunt of it (I could cope normally but have had an horrendous year, which is why I am less able to cope). I have read a book about the chanting, I will surely try this. Thank you.
joannaParticipantThank you for your answers, it really helped me to make a balanced decision. I decided to simply offer short condolences and kind words, and then ‘signed off’ assuming it’s a given that I am saying goodbye. If they contact me, I will politely answer, but leave it at that. They all have each other. Some are good people but their high dramas resulted in high stress (it’s complicated). I was raised Catholic but interested in all faiths, and the clarity of these answers makes me interested in exploring Buddhism further, there is a lot to be learned from all beliefs. Thank you for your help.
joannaParticipantThey are not people to harm physically (no need for the police) but they have messed with my head by manipulating my life in such a way that I am almost destroyed. Yet this has not been done with intent, but by their sheer self-absorption. They believe they are victims, and have used my over-sensitivity and kind manner to their own ends, which is why I am reluctant to send a message, as I have not had contact with them for a long time.
I think Anita was right to say in a perfect world to send a sympathy, saying I want no further contact. I just feel this is going to be difficult to do without making them angry and more upset at a difficult time, so may have to leave it. Thank you for your answers.
joannaParticipantThis is what I would try to do, but whenever I am assertive that’s when things go wrong. If I do what you say, I have no doubt they will come back into my life, and it is going to cause me unneeded stress. If I say I can have no contact, I will be accused of upsetting them at a sad time etc. Or asked why they can’t remain in contact etc? Then I would have to stop contact to avoid further upset, and this would make things worse than not replying at all, no? Just cannot make a decision as to what is best. Thank you.
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