Thank you so much to those that responded, thanks Inky…yes I have had the silence and peace and of course you are too right, he messaged me asking to see me. To Shawn, thank you for making me look at this in a different way, what is it I Miss…yes of course I miss the physical actual him, but I don’t miss the anxiety and stress that cones with it. I miss the idea of being with a lovely respectful man (after coming out of a 10 yr marriage, that ended 2 years ago). I kinda feel a bit like a failure, I really wanted this relationship to work out and live happily never after, I’m 44 lets not do forget that…it’s hard work going on dates, being disappointed, sitting on the couch alone etc etc. But I have now come to realise that I’d rather do that than go through the mind games, the anxiety the stress. It’s been 7 days and have just started to eat properly…so heartbroken but I’m healing, I’ve made myself be around friends and realise that I’m ok, I’m fun, I have a lot to offer the right person, not just anyone, I have talents, friends say I’m attractive…lol it’s all up to me….I need to build my self esteem and feel good about me, and when I’m ready that right person will enter my life I’m sure.

Thank you Will, how very kind of you! he would go into a rage and snap at the smallest of things, I tell myself I can do better, but his angry words just keep ringing in my ears… How he hates that he can’t live without me, hates that my actions can hurt him (that’s me going out with the girls) I always reassure him that I’m totally devoted and how I want to spend the rest of my life with him and give him lots of love and attention, but he jumps to the most insane conclusions that I just don’t get. Anyway, I’m going to take your advice, focus on me…be gentle, I will go for a walk tomorrow and remind myself that I am a loving and caring person with lots to offer.