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pjoy

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  • in reply to: Wife does not contribute #106609
    pjoy
    Participant

    Hi Kirk
    So sorry for U and your son. It sounds like to me she wants out but doesn’t have the emotional maturity to just come out and say it. Fear of the unknown does crazy things. I was in a similar situation my husband and attorney but an alcoholic. He gave up law practice decided we should move out of state and I felt it was my place to follow him and keep family together. Things as bad as they had been only got worse. I finally got the courage…I don’t even know if it was courage since I was scared to death…to leave. I had no family but took my 2 kids and moved back to the area where I grew up. I did everything I could to try to facilitate a relationship between my kids and their dad…insisting they go on holidays summers all for naught. He was interested. My kids said I did the right thing in leavin and they have no relationship with him…but he is the one that put other things before them and showed no interest. He has totally moved on with his life without them. It’s o hard especially wanting your kids to have a family unit but u sound like one in a million and someone will appreciate u more than u can imagine. U can’t do this for the both of u she has to participate in this union or it will not work. No one deserves to a life of unhappiness or frustration. But it’s very hard so I wish u the best. Sometimes u have to do what is the absolute best for U and your child and that may involve some pain..discomfort. but probably no more than what u r experiencing now. Take care

    in reply to: explain extreme suffering and karma of good beings #91909
    pjoy
    Participant

    I dont know how i orginally stumbled upon tiny buddha, but on more than once it has been just what i needed. I read post especially from Inky and Anita and wonder if everyone is ok but me. I also though recognize so much pain in others here. I continue to be overwhelmed by fear not knowing whats next. I used to be a social working helping others and very good at i was. But the one person i dont seem to be able to help is myself. I havent worked in nearly 2 years today im a hotel w/my daughter. My depression is beyond darkness…i dont know how to rise up no money, resources or anything else. My support system consist of a friend 200 miles away and coming here to try and find some wisdom or a kind thought. Sometimes im awake for hours asking God to heal me help me but seem to have little faith in that happening. I try to be thankful everyday for having a roof over my head food or just the beauty of the outdoors. I have felt liky i was dying for months and a few days ago felt i had finally died inside there was nothing left. I am humiliated and exhausted. I dont know what to do to make it better or even how to start over. I find myself missing my parents..i want someone to rescue me i know that wont happen but i dont know how to rescue myself. I guess i posted this as a release. Of course much like all the people buying powerball tickets are dreaming of life changing wealth, i guess maybe on some level im dreaming that someone will post a list of what i need to do or how do i save myself. As always thanks for being there and for all the good thoughts…it does mean something

    in reply to: The Healing Path #89687
    pjoy
    Participant

    I tried to follow instructions for starting new thread but couldnt seem to get it…since you asked Anita i actually wanted to kinda dump thoughts on you.

    in reply to: The Healing Path #89467
    pjoy
    Participant

    Thank you all. Having someone simply express kindness means the world to me right now.
    Pam

    in reply to: The Healing Path #89442
    pjoy
    Participant

    Whenever I read anything Anita writes I marvel at her wisdom more like envy. I’m trying so hard to not fall into negative thoughts somewhere I do believe what u think and say u bring about but my life has fallen apart. I am beyond scare don’t want to die afraid of my existence since it can’t be called living. As ashamed and humiliated as it is to say it I’ve been battling a total breakdown over a year. I have lost everything home car no income in over a year. Where I’m staying now I have to leave so don’t know where I’ll be in a week. I put this out only to say I don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. I go in a circle of need job need car need place to stay need a small cash reserve to get going it goes round and round. I feel so isolated and marginalized. I used to be a social worker and for last couple of years have been nothing. I don’t know what to say I guess I’m asking that all of please send me good thoughts and energy. I’m scared. Thanks
    Pam

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)