i am only just seeing that you wrote back as soon as a sent a thought i should’ve put in before. i think that makes sense. i think that maybe i’m too impatient at the same time. the process seems to be taking too long, but then now that i think about it, i guess there could be things that i need to do to get to the next phase in life. i like to know that there are struggles that i have to go through because you learn from them. i try to remind myself that everything is written and there are no mistakes, but i also feel that there could always be things that we can change in what we’ve chosen before we were born. thank you by the way anita!

anita –

the only life i’d say i want is the life god would want for me. unfortunately i don’t have a clear, planned out vision of exactly what house i would want or what job and things like that. i’m actually struggling with what to major in. i just want to do the right thing which i feel god has. although that almost contradicts what i’ve said earlier, i’m not really sure how god works. i feel that he is kind of fickle with me. i feel that he is always by my side ready to help me, but i also feel that at times (which are lots of times) he would change his mind about me. i think just making art is what i’d want. just to make art and live comfortably. which is farfetched and almost unrealistic. it’s more of a retirement plan, huh? a life where i don’t necessarily work but i keep busy.

the only thing i could say that i really want is a person. that one person that i like, but that’s a thing i feel is pending, although i feel like this person could be what they call “the one”. maybe it’s all a little crush, but this is the third year in and i still like them just as much as i did three years ago.