Kat Allen

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    Kat Allen

    It’s never a one off cry out. It happens a lot. But it’s your bodies way of clearing stuck emotions. I know it’s painful, frustrating and we so wish it was over already, but no matter how much will power you try and throw at your grief, won’t make it disappear faster. I know this is not what you want to hear, and I’m sorry. I really am. If I could hug you and tell it’s going to be ok, I so would. Because it is.
    Once the tearing pain passed for me and became a dull throb I started to look around for things to take up my time with that would expand my circle of friends and life experience. I live in Melbourne Australia and I attended events held by a group called Future Crunch, I also took up oil painting and made the effort to go out more and arrange outings with my friends. Life goes on, whether we’re ready for it or not. So, when you start to feel a little better, a little more like your old self, get out and about and see what makes you smile and keep following that. Hang in, and don’t linger too long hanging on to what you cannot change. I believe in you, please believe in yourself. You’re stronger than you think.

    Kat Allen

    Dear “I can’t get over her”,
    A warm hello from “I couldn’t get over him”.

    I’d like to share some thoughts and advice from my experience of heart break. I too have recently undergone the toughest struggle of my life, trying to move on when my heart and body are not yet ready for it.

    Without going into the gory details I have learnt:
    1. I suffered a traumatic experience, my heart and mind were is shock.
    2. I could not stifle the pain. It felt far better to feel it completely. I lay on the floor curled up and cried my heart out until I was done. There is no shame or weakness in this, You are mourning a loss and this is a natural reaction.
    3. Keeping him in my life made it all so much worse. Every little smile or act of kindness had me hoping he would come back to me, only to be disappointed again.
    4. There is no time frame set to get over a broken heart, everybody is different. So be gentle with yourself and take as much time as you need. The people who love you will understand this.
    5. Get back into life gently. Focus on the things that made you happy before you met the person.
    6. Know that in time the pain will lessen and you will smile again and feel a weight lifted from you. But it does take time, you can’t force it.
    7. Most importantly of all, appreciate the fact that you are the owner of a beautiful big heart that has such a capacity for love. A heart that can be broken is a heart that is strong enough to mend itself and love even greater.
    8. and my favourite, if you can get someone to buy you or lend you a puppy or kitten, these delightful little creatures are the best medicine ever.

    My thoughts are with you, remember you are loved, be gentle with yourself and please be patient with your healing process. And don’t change yourself for anyone, because if they really love you, they’d never ask you to change. They would make the sacrifice themselves.


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