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Kathleen

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • March 13, 2016 at 8:30 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98906
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Thank you for responding. I like EAR. I will remember that.

    Thank you BenzRabbit. That is true. I should practice gratitude!!

    March 13, 2016 at 4:44 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98874
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    There is no problem with the relationship, there is a problem with me in the relationship, if that makes sense.

    I say he’s a saint because he loves and supports me no matter what but my own insecurities and failures bubble to the surface and I take it out on him. He is doing nothing wrong, he simply bears the frustration with myself.

    We have a loving and good relationship but my own insecurities and shame and fear brings him down and it brings us down.

    I hope this makes sense, and thank you for continuing to check in.

    Kathleen

    March 11, 2016 at 10:28 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98781
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Thank you both for your responses.

    I really resonate with your story, thank you for sharing.

    I “do” as I don’t feel much worth in just “being” who I am – perhaps I don’t really know. I would consider myself to be spiritually open and aware but nothing seems to be helping me overcome this feeling of complete worthlessness.

    My adult life has been good, confusing. I have a wonderful husband whom I grateful for but often get angry at for little to no reason and again, that sends me into huge shame.

    I honestly don’t know what I need to do or need to be, I’m still just completely empty and lost (and now in the middle of an argument with my Saint of a husband)

    Hating myself at the moment!

    Thanks for listening

    March 10, 2016 at 9:23 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98632
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Hi Jerusha, thanks for reaching out. I’m 32 and have been having mini career crisis for a while, hence the business venture 🙂

    March 10, 2016 at 9:05 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98630
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you sincerely for responding, I do hope you feel better again soon.

    You’re right. I feel defeated, upset, annoyed and I’m just about ready to throw it all in and go and join the circus (…although I’d have to get myself some circus skills first). I’m not in a good space.

    I was told I just need to let go and ‘be’ but I actually don’t know how to do that. I ‘do’, I get things ‘done’… that’s who I am and just ‘being’ isn’t enough for me. At least that’s what it’s looking like.

    I don’t know how to be, what to do and how I’m going to move on from this. I feel hope-less.

    Oh and a ‘replacement child’ is what I’ve named myself. My sister passed away at 6 months old and I was born 9 months after that, I inherited her name and all of her belongings. I often think my mum would have much preferred my sister to me and so I’m kind of out to prove that I’m worthy of the life I have (hence, the doing)

    I hope this makes sense and isn’t simply the ramblings of someone on the verge of a breakdown…. or as Brene Brown would say, a ‘spiritual awakening’

    THank you again x

    March 10, 2016 at 8:31 pm in reply to: What if you don't have purpose or value #98616
    Kathleen
    Participant

    Thank you for responding Anita.

    I’m having a hard time in my corporate job, it’s not a great fit for me and so it’s hard. I’m also trying to start my own business and haven’t been able to attract any clients for 6 months despite feeling like I’m doing what I’ve been told will work.

    I believed I had something to share, a skill and a want to serve. I was told that it’s all crap and that I need to just be in the moment, that all of my efforts are useless and superfluous to success.

    I have a deep, great and core fear of not living my life to the best of my ability (born from finding out I’m a replacement child). Now, I think it’s all just crap and I don’t in fact have much to offer at all. I was challenged on my authenticity, my skill and my value. Now, I feel like a fraud, I have no skill and my value is in ‘being’ not ‘doing’.

    I have lots of tools I call upon to help me in time of need… nothing is working. mantras, crystals, journalling, meditation, walking, yoga… nothing. I can’t help but feel like giving up on what I wanted for myself, quit everything and just live on the welfare and waste my life.

    Thank you for listening.

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)