Vhanon, these days Im in process of taking a decision about my further actions and behavior. I’d love to do something for him but I think I can’t. Your last post made me go – wow, that’s exactly what it is. Im so grateful for talking to you! I had doubts about sharing my hardest life quest and Im so glad it turned this way! I think I got my answers, your words are like missing puzzle.

I really can’t do anything in role of a girlfriend. All this social roles thing is very interesting isn’t it.
I liked an article a lot and I want to share it with you. I agree with the idea of solo spinning:
Spin solo until you are in perfect harmony with source and are able to create magic alone. Then you can, if you choose, attract someone who can spin along side you. The result is two beautiful souls who are spinning separately, but in perfect harmony… that’s where magic happens!

This is something I can’t do with my boyfriend. The link is here, hope it’s interesting for you

The question left- what to do with romantic feelings and why they are so enduring? I can’t accept such attitude anymore, this is very clear already, it destroys me. You asked about examples of manipulative behavior above, well, almost all the tactics on the list, constant guilt for everything what’s said or not said, done or not done, changing his mind too often and taking words back, accusing verbally, not appreciating my efforts and even my schedule, my free time, my health, my achievements. Im never good enough, I never did enough and whatever I say and believe in is bullshit. Uncontrolled emotional explosions.

But I still feel that it’s not his fault, I know he is amazing person and could be anything he wants, yes, it requires hard inner work but it’s not impossible. At the moment though I don’t have a proper position in his life and I don’t have inner resource left to help him and it makes me very sad.

Probably answers will come with time.

Thank you for being with me here! I appreciate your concern!
Namaste

Hi, Vhanon.
Im currently trying to understand what kind of love is that, it makes me hope although my brain clearly says there are no ways to make things work.
I need time to proceed obviously. I guess Im in a great confusion, I cant push myself to meditate and feel I have no inner resource left for solving things. I take time out just hanging around without thinking, probably I need a short period of this kind of being.

Im writing though to thank you. Person I’ve never seen appeared as most helpful and understanding. I send you all my love. I read your comments again and again, great food for thought, great point of view. It is really helpful.

I wish you would have someone same wise and positive if you faced difficult times.

Thank you, Vhanon, I appreciate your feedback.
It’s the advice that I get from people that care about me and it’s probably exactly what I should do.
Sometimes things get too complicated and I always ask myself if I did enough and gave enough but in the end I feel that I didn’t get anything in return which hurts a lot.
It seems my partner is not able to care about my mental and emotional state and the only way is to get him out of my life.

I’m curious though are they (emotional manipulators) bad people? Are there bad people at all? I used to think we might behave bad towards someone because of our own troubles and weaknesses. But can it be that people might happen to be simply bad?

Thank you again.
It’s a great support.