Do you realize that you made a snap judgment of me based on my last name of Nightwolf?? I used that name b/c I’ve been a night nurse for 33 years and am very nocturnal. My favorite animal in nature is the wolf. Do you do this with everyone? Do you set yourself up for failure? You accept and at the same time blow off everyone’s post and cling to your negative thoughts and behaviors. You sound a bit codependent to me esp. coming from the childhood you did. Perhaps these women act like they do to you b/c YOU need to be abused and not b/c they are seeking an abusive man. Your self-esteem may be so low that that is all you know…to be abandoned and mistreated. Being a “people pleaser” is one of the hallmarks of codependency. People pleasers tend to move towards people who are going to treat them badly. It’s a vicious cycle. You don’t need pointers on how to focus on yourself just start doing it. Forget about others and do what pleases you. Accept yourself inside and out, do activities that make you happy, and stand up for yourself…no more doormat. I think Kadija made a lot of good points! What is the worst thing that could happen if you spent your life alone? You would still live and could have a great life all by yourself.