Serena,
I’m sorry to hear about your negative experience at work, and that you were wrongly blamed for the incident with the truck. I understand where you are coming from – I’m a female engineer, and not all of my experiences managing all male contractors in the field have been positive ones. There have been many times where I’ve been overlooked, or assumed to be less competent at my work, which I am not.

You did everything right by proving that you were not responsible and requesting an apology – management was wrong for ignoring your request and taking the word of one employee over another. I too have struggled with depression that stems from negative experiences at work, because like you I put too much emphasis on other peoples’ opinions of me, and not enough emphasis on my belief in myself and my own abilities.

Something that really helped me was reading “Feeling Good”, by Dr. David Burns. He goes over many different cognitive therapy techniques for overcoming depression, anxiety, and feelings of guilt. One thing that stuck with me from the book is that no one else can MAKE you feel one way or another – you are the only person able to control your feelings and your responses to difficult situations. I had always thought it was other people making me feel ashamed or worthless or upset – it turns out I was making myself feel that way all along. I was the one building up negativity in my own mind.

In the book, Dr. Burns outlines a lot of easy writing exercises to get you to come to positive conclusions about yourself and help you manage your feelings and confusion. I think if you look into some of those, they will help you come to the conclusion that you did nothing wrong, and you cannot let the negative words and opinions of others bring you down, or make you feel like any less of a person. It’s time to let go of the anger, sadness, and guilt, and start living your life the way you want to again. I hope this helps!

Best wishes,
Kel