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    You said it yourself you beat yourself up!! what you are feeling in completely normal and 6 weeks to grieve a 4 year relationship honey it takes a lot longer trust me. Be kinder to yourself, you have to firstly accept deep down that he aint coming back which is what we all hold onto when someone leaves us, that tiny glimmer of hopes that keeps us going.

    Try to force yourself to think of all your qualities, spend time with friends and people who make you smile, or even redecorating, getting a new hair do. It doesn’t take away the pain but it gives you something new to focus on. I find going to the gym really helps me mentally and of course your appearance benefits massively, people notice a change and that makes you feel good.

    Its so hard letting go of your life which he has been, but as we all no life does carry on and everything happens for a reason, you wont see it now but what’s waiting in your future could be so much more amazing and something that you didn’t even know existed.

    Just remember be kind to yourself your do amazing and CERTAINLY not going mad 😉 xxxxx


    Just from my experience I once experienced something similar, my boyfriend at the time was friends with a woman who was also in a relationship with 2 kids. He started telling me also how suddenly her boyfriend started to hit her ect then the next minute I know my boyfriend at the time and this woman started having an affair, the woman left her boyfriend and her 2 kids and set up home with my boyfriend and started a new family.
    Luckily for you the woman does not live in the same country but I think we need to remember that guys like to feel needed, and if this woman is confiding in him making him feel needed then that is what forms there connection. If guys don’t feel love or affection all the time they do look elsewhere. I’m not saying that your not showing it, but maybe because you are independent and you have your life together or makes it seem that way maybe your boyfriend feels like he cant really add to your life and make a difference but with hers he can. Its just a thought.

    Me personally I would just be completely honest with him about the way it makes you feel, don’t accuse at all just say it makes you feel uncomfortable and you would rather him not be involved in it, if he loves you he should be able to understand that, if not find somebody who can.


    Hi Rosaly,

    This is my first day on this site and I signed up for a similar reason to yourself, basically feeling lonely and unwanted.
    Firstly I’m not going to tell you how lucky you are like others have, instead I personally think its heart breaking and selfish on your mums part that she could even leave you on your own at Christmas. Weather your 24 or not, your her daughter. I’m 32 now and still feel exactly the same as I did when I was 21, I still hurt and feel sad and struggle to no where to go. there is nothing wrong in being sad, and people who talk about others worse off, well we already know this but right now we’re to busy trying to make ourselves happy and thinking and caring about our own feelings than others and so we should.

    I don’t really no what to suggest to you really other then friendship and somebody to care which I do.

    I am trying to fix myself at the moment and am starting to realise that my real issues stem from growing up and feeling abandoned, unwanted and unimportant. unlike you I am fortunate to have a mum and 2 sisters as well as aunts. We are all so close but also so far apart that none of us actually understand each other at all we just all love giving our opinions and judgement on each others life’s which is negative and wrong. This year we are all spending xmas together thankfully because other wise it would just be myself, my mum and her boyfriend.

    I generally don’t have any friends which I really don’t no know why because I have had so many over the years but they’ve always disappeared on me. I expect people to treat me how I would them which is with care and loyalty and when they don’t which is more or less always I then feel so disappointed and let down. I have been single 9 years now even thou I go on dates etc which i’ve had to resort to tinder for, its always just guys who like small talk and not actually interested in building any kind of connection other than you know what which as much as I love I want a relationship not a quick bunk up lol. I am a fun, outgoing, lively girl who without sounding big headed but I am an attractive girl so really i shouldn’t have any issues but i do every single time. Every single thing I do I do alone which is what makes me feel so lonely, esp when there are people who could join you but choose not to.

    Anyway I will be spending new years alone no doubt as I don’t ever get invited anywhere, only by my sister usually but she now has a new boyfriend and just wants to be with him which is totally normal, I’m not her issue.

    So all I can suggest to you is to try to make the most of your alone time, buy yourself some nice food, nice new pyjamas or something, maybe light a nice candle and find a good film and just relax for the day. Try not to think about what others are doing and just think about you. I just wanted to ask thou and I’m sure its because you don’t want to burden but has none of your friends who know your situation not invited you to spend Christmas with them and their families?
    either way I would love to maybe connect with you more and I think its always nice to have somebody to talk to who can relate to how your feeling. Not sure how we can connect on here so message back if your interested. lots of love from me to you xxx

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