I feel not having them come or not visiting them is isolating my self and a selfish thing to do. It’s so conflicting at the same time though. I wish this unease would go away and I can feel normal.

Thank you so much!!! hug!

He is being nice to me but I have anxiety issues that flare up big time around my parents. So often I find myself getting warm in my palms and my face heats up a bit. We are not close and while he is still open, I have a very cage personality in front of him.

There are lot of good points here to ponder on. Maybe I am just after a notion, an image, a perception of how I want it to be and in the process completely oblivious to certain facts. I started chatting with absolutely no intention of being involved and i think we are not that involved either. What I am probably struggling with is that it wasn’t a mutually decision to let go or that I did not have it my way (my decision).

So my story, I am separated and finalizing my divorce.

sometimes loneliness brings to weird place and in this not so nice place I met this guy.

i am probably looking through a tinted glass, seeing what I want to see. But I can’t deny the pull I feel towards this guy.

I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 10 years. And this guy was a breathe of fresh air. I liked his entire personality and in person he was great too. Again he has never imposed or painted a different picture for me to think he is pretending.

The cheating part is his story not mine and while I don’t agree with it in principle, I find myself questioning the authenticity of marriage as an institute.

to answer your question specifically Anita, the experience with him was magical maybe because it was after 10 years of loveless marriage.

i am trying my best to refrain from reaching out to him and this forum is helping be stay put in my place. But I do wish to continue as friends or if not get a good closure for my sanity. Any suggestions there?

thank you very very much Anita and Eilana.