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Violet

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  • #68270
    Violet
    Participant

    After that we had a few conversations over chat but it seems to me now that he was using these conversations to evoke that event to get horny and ending our conversations quickly while I wanted to reach him as a person. But to find out few months after all that pick up artist world and rules and to recognise that in his behaviour was extremely painful to me. I wanted to understand what happened so I searched for informations, I read that pick up artists forum. And it is cruel world of using persons. Somehow I feel that he even didn’t want sex with me as physical (if not emotional) enjoyment in my body but that he wanted to use me just to get more experience for seducing other more beautiful, attractive, younger and free women. To have more interesting stories. Like I was his experiment. Like he was thinking: I will have sex with her, she is stupid women, but the more is the better, I will be better in seducing other women, through her I will learn more. That hurts. I understand that person can feel physical desire for another person and want sex despite everything. But I cant accept that somebody can approach to other person with intent to just exploit her.

    #68239
    Violet
    Participant

    Thank you for support and time for reading and answering my post. I wonder do I need professional help because it seems like this opened up pandora box inside me. I doubt in my own personality, actually in everything I do and say, I am not sure what is right anymore. Maybe I shouldn’t write this post. What if I am sociopath or psychopath? I am not sure about my own conscience. I don’t want this to be just for relieving my concious. I am sorry for previous post maybe sounds judgmental towards him. I still love him and desire for his presence. Maybe he is trying to find himself, maybe just like I do. What if I made bad influence to his life? I still wonder where we could be if we had met each other in different life circumstances but maybe here my ego is refusing to accept that he don’t want me in his life and he didn’t loved me. I try and will try to make distance from that me. I still don`t know what I want, but I realise now that I didn’t achieved with my husband that level of intimacy and closeness with other human being for which I deeply desire.

    #67996
    Violet
    Participant

    <3

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)