Update: yes, he left me because the compatibility. We were in the perfect relationship, but we were not the perfect couple. He wants to find a person that match better with him. He feels he treated me bad (maybe it has something true, but unconscious) and did not gave me a lot of time. He said it is not me, that I am perfect, but not the indicate for him. That one part of him will always loves me (but not a romantic love).

I am his first long-term relationship, so maybe it is true he needs more experience to find what he wants in a relationship. He said there is a possibility he took the wrong decision, but needs to figure out by himself. But maybe it is the feeling of loss or the feeling you have when you took the decision to break-up. But it makes me feel better if I think we could have work like a couple, but he was not prepared in that moment and this situation happens… Anyways, I still feel as trash, I know he has the right to decide what it is better for his life, but still hurts a lot…. He thinks I will get over him before he gets over me, but I don’t see as it would be possible.

Hi Anita,

I am studying primatology. I am pretty flexible in the jobs I would like; maybe research assistant, caretaker… anything I could work with animals, behavior, or conservation. Also, I was considering bank teller in the case I did not find anything close or permanent. He is  a sales construction. He loves his job.

I was thinking to stay where I live or near before I met him. Now, I am not sure… Almost everything remembers me him. Now, I have to rethink again what I want and I should do, which it is difficult because I feel my life has not meaning, I feel miserable. Anyway, I have to stay at least until May 2019 for the apartment rent contract.

On Saturday night we talked again. My conclusions about our conversation based on what I know about him and his past relationships is that he is not sure if I am his forever love and he does not feel commitment. For this he thinks he need to have more experience to know if it is right or not. This may take at least 3 years. He is scare about he is making a bad decision, but right now he does not feel commitment. However, he acknowledges that if his answer is that it was a bad decision, he probably has lost me because he doesn’t expect me to wait for him (and I hope I have get over him by that time).

He has always felt inferior to me (he did not finish his bachelor). Since we started dating, he said he doesn’t understand why I am with him, that I am gorgeous and beautiful, that I am intelligent… (I consider myself a normal woman). But he thinks I deserve a good job because I am doing a Master and a better partner. I have always told him that is not true, he is an amazing person, that he is exaggeration how I am or how he sees me.

It hurts a lot, but I think he needs to growth as person and he doesn’t know what he wants for his long-term life. He may feel he is retain me to growth professionally, which it is not necessary true…. We acknowledge that this relationship was the best in each our life and that each other is the person that we have love most. He told me he will be always for me, that I can call or text whenever I want.  We agreed to stay as friends, but we are going to wait a few weeks until try to communicate.

I will try this friendship does not substitute our past relationship. I will try to not keep hopes. But I am scare that he moves out first than me and I could not handle he is with other. I don’t see when I will be able to forget him.

Kris