Forum Replies Created
September 4, 2014 at 10:02 am #64383kristinParticipant
I by no means am one of the “wise readers” here. I am new to the forums and am only at the beginning of my journey to peace and healing. However, I can relate to you having been a part of abusive relationships. My first relationship as a teenager was abusive. Being that young and going through abuse really changes your perspective on love and relationships, so I feel that I can offer some insight to you.
First, I would like to say that I am sending healing thoughts your way. I know how hard this situation must be for you. That being said, I recommend putting it into perspective. If this same story came from your sister, your best friend, your mom, or anyone else that you love deeply, what would you tell them? Also, if you have to question whether or not something is abusive, it probably is. Abuse is not strictly black and white. It can be physical, emotional, mental. If you are feeling abused, that means that your boundaries have been crossed which is certainly a big issue. This becomes an even bigger issue when the person you feel has inflicted abuse on you is handling it in the way in which he has.
Something else I highly recommend keeping in mind when it comes to your fear of seeing him with someone else is that not all relationships are meant to work out. Sometimes two people who can be perfectly functional and happy in one relationship find toxicity in a relationship with one another. From what you have said, I would definitely consider this to be a toxic relationship. While circumstances and people can change, toxic relationships are almost always bad news.
My advice to you, as someone who has been through an abusive relationship, is to get away and stay away from this person. Remove all contact with him – if you have no ties to him, you give yourself the necessary space to cope and heal. Additionally, this is going to prevent falling back into things and allowing him to hurt you more by being with someone else. You owe it to yourself to remove this person from your life. It will not be easy, especially since the emotions are so raw, but you deserve better. You deserve time to work on healing yourself and becoming a better person apart from the toxicity of this relationship. Best of luck to you.