Forum Replies Created
November 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm #45465Maha MahaParticipant
I was browsing for the secrets to a high self esteem and ironically I landed here.
right now it is 3 am. I am supposed to finish some tasks and go to sleep but then I decided to create an account and reply to you exclusively
Having lived in India for 10 months myself, and having met a lot of Indian men and women, I almost automatically knew what the problem was. I am Moroccan, and I grew up with the French culture since ever (Morocco used to be a French colony). I am generally a sharp perceiver and I have decided to tell you genuinely what I think in an attempt to open your eyes. You may get hurt, it is going to hurt in the beginning. But in 3 months, you are going to emerge a winner out of it.
Let me come back to the reason why I landed here: self-esteem, yes, that’s what you are missing right now.
Well crybaby, it looks like you have been dumped co-op style.
That’s not what you want to hear, and I am probably a bitch for saying what I just said. But in fact you don’t need pampering, you dont need someone who is gonna listen to you shedding tears. Complaining and dependency on loved ones will only eat away further that very thing you are missing, self-esteem.
what kinda woman with self esteem trusts a guy and moves in with him so quickly, if she herself did not feel insecure in some way? (I know, you have been describing yourself as not being inseucure, that’s not the impression that I get though).
what kinda woman with self esteem gets so caught up in her emotions, again so fast, that she refuses any logical comments about her current situation?
what kinda woman with self esteem mistakes and believes the first (or the one in a few) beaux-parleurs that offer the stars to her in a romantic concubinage relationship?
You did nt take your time with this guy, and this is what you get. It was your mistake. And you are responsible for what you feel right now.
Let me correct one thing, he is not the one to blame. This dude looks like an emotionally immature himself. In other words, he doesnt want a girlfriend, he doesnt want a wife, he only needs a f***-buddy. He dumped you for his new sleep-mate, so what? chances are he did it in the past, and he is going to do it again, and again and again. His new girl is not the last one on the list. Dont think they will get married and live happily ever after.
You tricked yourself into loving him and accepting all his deficiencies, because you wanted to.
You wanted to live a romance and closed your mind on the red flags, I am sure there were so so many.
You have been stuck with the wrong kind of shoe from the very beginning! you wanted to buy classy high-heels, you got stuck with ftas, and very bad quality ones.
That was a lesson, a great lesson for you to learn to listen to those who know better than you, aka, your parents. Smart and wise people have a sharp intuition that if you dont take too seriously, you can mess your life instantaneously.
So bottom line, you got all you wanted. You had it your way, fell in love, stayed in love, clinged to love, wanted to make it work. It didnt.
Now, what do you want? you want probably your dignity back. Maybe an explanation, an apology…. right? you even want just an email answer. well, I am afraid you have to wait quite a long time for that one.
Ask yourself why do you need this from him? will it bring him back to you? will it change his mind? will he leave his new girl to marry you? what would an apology change? what would an explanation bring? would it truly matter?
Decide what you want, and go get it. But dont decide what you are probably never likely to get: his love and commitment.
He was only in lust with you, not love. That is why he was so quick at breaking up with you, as long as this new girl emerged.
Chances are he doesnt know how to give love !! you are not the reason.
Try to observe that guy for a moment. And I promise you, everyday you will figure out a new flaw in him. Be sensitive to his flaws. You have been sensitive to his qualities only for 13 months, you just need to reprogram yourself.
People will tell you to delete his contact and social profile. Don’t! be strong. Don’t avoid. Be an observer this time. And you will see what you never thought it was possible to see.
In the meanwhile give yourself time to mourne the relationship, cry if it feels like it. But dont cry forever. Find healthy activities that make you feel good and overdo them!
I am gonna end with something I always say, in my own words: “life is a river, people come, and people leave. Those who stay, just stay because they respect us in some sense, yet we dont have to possess them like we would a collection of dolls. When someone parts away from your life. Dont cling to them, never. Move away in grace, and never look back”.
Get some self respect and never ever desperately text him into getting back together. JUST NEVER.
One more thing! Please go get your stuff. Just dont expect it to be there. They might have gotten rid of it. Expect the worse so you wont be shocked.
Go and hug your dad, he probably is the one who deserves an apology here.
And next time stop dating random losers. You seem like a smart and successful girl. You deserve better. That is the TRUTH (I am not inflating your ego I dont even know you)
My Love to you. a Tough one, but it is genuine Love, better than sweet lies.