janet…I had thoughts in my minds for many nights.I have spent painful nights with tears. but after that one day I understand that what is lacking is my inability to love my self. I was just running from my self for many years. This incident changes me. I moved towards positivity and peace. I really reduced my expectation . I started to enjoy each moment ….small things…like chinese food or music. I started to keep patience. and i want more and more growth in me. Due to this change, I feel my self more mature. and happy.