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February 7, 2017 at 5:46 pm in reply to: Is living in the now/present moment negative for you future/future plans? #126989lexyParticipant
im 22 and hes 23. Me and my bf have been together almost a year. We became long distance for 5 months but closed it off and moved in together for two months but he had to move to a diff city an hour away for work temporarily. We had a great relationship and i know that he loved me so much but like other relatinships, we had fights and times we almost broke up but when i tried to break it off he would call me crying and begging and i did same. we didnt wanna break up we both know that. He would always tell me that he didnt wanna lose me and he said to be with me is a life plan he already decided. He also alwasy tells me im his type as a wife n the future. We had many future plans. We were gonna move in again in two months. Now, we argued a day before he broke up but the next day we were happy again. at night he texted saying i never changed even he gave me many chances. When we argue i would get mad when he reacts angrily and even i just wanna talk when we fight. He hates it. I begged him not to leave and saying that we were getting better but he blocked my facebook and other Social media. He deleted all our pictures and told our mutual friend its impossible to continue this relationship. However, he has two instagram accounts an i know the password for the other one and i opened it to unblock myself and send messages. He keeps dleting and blocking and i would unblock and send again. That night he sent me a message a final message.
He said hes sorry he cant accept my personality and he appreciate everything. And he tried and waited the entire relationship for me to change but i didnt. That was the last message and i still keep messaging him but he also blocked my number. I made a fake account to message him again. I know. Bad move. The next day, I tried to open his Instagram but He deleted his account. Im so confused cause that acccount hes been using since 2011 and basically had all his memories. He could have just changed password and blocked me but why did he delete? He cut off all contacts and i sent a final message using the fake account that he didnt block saying i wanna be mature about the breakup and apologized for being emotional about it. He didnt read it and i assume he deleted it. he never contacted me since he broke it off. I started the No contact rule Its been a week since we broke up. When we fought before we would speak immediately and lonest time not speaking i think is 3 days. Other than the small arguments we have, I think our relationship is great and our sex life is great. Hes close to my family and we are best friends and like family. WEre both very comfortable with each other and im the only person he cried in front of or call crying when hes feeling insecure cause he has a high pride but he showed me everything and he told me im the only person he ever showed his real self (aside from family) I want him back and i am confident we can make out relationship workSO MY QUESTIONS:
1. why did he delete it instead of just changing password?
2. should i keep waiting for him to contact me first?
3. What if he nver contacts me again?
4. Next week is valentines day and also our anniversary can i contact him?
5. he seems to not care at all cause he did not even give a closure or talk to me properly. What could possibly be the reason for that?Please give me advice other than my questions,
Now im doing the NC and working to improve myself. Thanks in advancelexyParticipantIs he possibly thinking or is he gonna regret this? For him I was the ideal wife he loved that I always accepted and tried to understand everything even his negative side and he told me I think if my wife is not same as your personality we won’t be together. Then we should also talk about our future plans about getting our own place and dog and eventually have a family and kids . He’s the one who initiates these conversations. I honestly thought our relationship meant something to him. Btw he’s Japanese and 23. We’re serious in our relationship but plan to only settle when were 27 or sth. He also told me before that to be with me in this life is a decision he already made. Even after he was stressed and yelled at me I cried and after a while he called crying because he got insecure about his future when he talked to some businessmen who didn’t like his idea. I was the first girl he cried in front of. And he can really show everything so I’m so confused why it’s very easy for him now and he seems to be happy. He’s adding a lot of girls o line and maybe even meeting them. He’s attractive and I’m sure a lot of girls from here would really like him.
lexyParticipantHi everyone. My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago.
We’ve been together almost a year. We’re different nationalities so it’s expected that we had a lot of differences. We met when he studied in my country for 4 months and we met on the first month coincidentally and I immediately felt an attraction to him. We became friends and hang out and he asked me to be his girlfriend on his 3rd month. He admitted that I was his first girlfriend that he was comfortable with that he didn’t have to pretend and he can be himself. He had 2 ex GFS from HS but the 2nd one lasted 3 years although they became LDR and both ex gf broke up with him. He loved me a lot I felt that. When I tried to break up before cause I got insecure of the distance he keeps calling and begging me not to leave and when I make a mistake and he try to break up I also try to convince him that we can still save the relationship. I was negative before and he helped me to become better and I did my best to support him. He left my country to study university abroad and we had a lot of fights and misunderstandings but eventually we always fixed it cause we don’t want to break up although we have said it a few times when we fight then he came back after 6 months he was supposed to be here for 2 months and we moved in together we were so happy but we started arguing again. There are times when it got physical but we always tried to reconcile and make things better. After two months together he decided to stay and study in my country instead and I was so happy but we had to separate. He needed to save money so he got a job with free accommodation so that he doesn’t need to pay and he can save the money for college since his parents won’t support him a lot anymore because they are against his decision of staying here. I lived with my dad again while he stayed in a city an hour or two away with some roomates. During his two months here we traveled a lot. He met my family and we had many memories. He always tells me that no one can compare to me even though there are many girls out there and that he will never lose me. And he loves me. I did my best to take care of him but when we separated he got kinda busy with his job but he tried to find the time to visit my house so he can relax. He always tells me that I’m the best but I’m annoying sometimes. He says this because if we argue I always try to fix while he try to avoid talking about it so becomes annoyed and when we fought I always tty to talk to him first and fix it. But when we have small arguments he tried to break up with me because he said he doesn’t like my personality. I begged him not leave and he gave me another chance then a week ago he stayed in my house for a week and everything was great. We traveled a lot and spent a lot of time. Until on the last night he slept there we had an argument about something small and he reacted so rude so I kept saying you don’t need to act like that but he keeps telling me to stop talking and I never changed. Then that night he didn’t want m to touch him so I let him be an I apologized and hugged him. The next day we were totally fine. He’s leaving afternoon and I made him breakfast, we cuddled, talked , laughed and even made love. Then he left and told me he’ll be back by Sunday again and even left some stuff. Then that night I noticed he blocked my Instagram on both accounts and I wanted to talk to him about my new job so i asked him to call but he keeps saying why I need to call and he straight up just texted goodnight and nothing else even I waited for him to call so I tried to call him a few times and he got annoyed and said he gave me a last chance I didn’t change and bye then he blocked my everything so there’s no way for me to contact him at all. I have one of his Instagram accounts password he uses two accounts one for personal and other for the blog I have the personal one and I unlocked myself to send him a message. A lot of messages actually I begged him to talk to me at least but he just deleted them and didn’t even read. The next day he sent me one message saying sorry that he can’t accept my personality and he can continue the relationship but he can’t see a future with me anymore. He always says these things when we fight and he said thanks for long time being together. Then he deleted all our pictures and still blocked me. The next day he deleted his personal account and I was so confused why when he could’ve just changed the password. That was important to him so I wonder why he’s so bitter. Then he went to sleep over his friends house for two days still avoiding contact with me and rejected every move that I made. I felt so depressed I loved this guy so much and did everything I could the only problem was that he said it’s my personality but honestly I always try to lower my pride when we fight. I wanna get him back but he seems to be done with me. He’s never done any of this before when we fought. He cut me off on everything. I don’t understand why he had to break up through text and avoid to talk to me then totally cut me off even after i gave up trying to convince him I told him I respect his decision. I don’t understand why it was too easy for him I knew he loved me a lot then suddenly it was so cold and he left so easy. He broke all his promises please help me. -
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