Hi Anita, I do recognise myself in what you said on a few points, especially being open to an intimate relationship for fear of being rejected. I find myself holding back a lot from affection for fear of looking needy, demanding, or too sweet. I know I am very loving, and my friends know that part of me, but somehow I hold it back with good guys. This suits the bad guys well as they don’t have to get to know me I guess..

I’ve always known my mother’s behaviour affected my relationships as an adult. I see some of it in my sisters as well. Nowadays older, she has softened up a lot. She told me she loved me for the first time in my life around 8 years ago. It took me leaving home and starting a life in a new country for her to say that. Just thinking this used to make me cry, it doesn’t nowadays so I guess I made progress. But I still have a long way to go.

Any tools/exercises/sites you can recommend?