Dear Amy,

i was thinking exactly what you are saying! I also do think that we want different things in life. But we also have a connection there. But i also agree when you are saying that i wasnt feeling respected or comfortable so i will be paying attention to how i feel when im with him tonight. But this is my problem, what if i feel anxiety, i have this thing where i just fight it, and i cant control it. Ive  always been told that i worry to much. So i feel like when i do its not needed when in the moment it actually is. If this makes any sense.

– i really like putting my feelings out here. Thanks Amy

• This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.

Dear Amy,

First of i want to say that im really amazed by how sweet the people are on this forum. Ive never put something online before and now im so happy i did.

I did send the text, and like you are saying i had to do it for myself. I was doubting to send the texg almost all day. But then the thought “no, he cannot think that its okay to treat people like this.” I thought that it was not okay! So i did it. I send it and this is how he replied. ; ( btw he is spanish so his english is not that good) Good to know your thoughts. Now my thoughts. I think you are a going to fast in everything, the same day we say bye in the station you was already making me feel blamed accusing me of violateing things nobody sing for. Then, I try to be friendly and nice trying to reply as many messages from you as I can, and now again I have to feel bad cuz you don’t have 100%, I like and is cool to be with you, but try to be in my shoes: it’s been 5 days since and 2 of them you was making me feel blamed, in the male head that’s mean a chance of 4 years of drama out of 10 years relationship. Do you think that is healthy? I am also being honest and don’t take it wrong. – and this is how is replied ; I understand what you are saying and I apologized for how i behaved and for how i made you feel. – what do u mean by you dont have 100%? And i understand it looks like im going to fast and i also understand that bc of the convo. I dont want to go to fast, and what i dont want no drama. Im not like that. Im only dealing with some personal things. But like i said, this wasnt any anxiety talking but me. I dont feel like u respect me. And yes Goodmorning. – so he replied ; 100% of my atencion – i replied; Oh, okay well i dont want ur attention all the time. I just want honesty and communication – he replied ; Yes, I comunícate but I have a limit of typed words per day you know, I to ensure my time is not wasted with phone. I know we are diferentes but like you like when people accept you are not alive without your phone, i like when people accept i like a normal life. – ( i think this is very childish, this man is 31 ) Yes, I comunícate but I have a limit of typed words per day you know, I to ensure my time is not wasted with phone. I know we are diferentes but like you like when people accept you are not alive without your phone, i like when people accept i like a normal life. – i replied ; Communication doesnt have to go trough text. You can call, or meet up. So i think thats not really an excuse to be ignorig me. And im not stuck to my phone like u might be. – so this is most of it and then it went quiet.

Now all of the sudden he would like to meet up tomorrow to talk? – i am interested in what he has to say. Although im not sure why. I told him i would meet him after work.

Lisa

Dear Anita,

I have a question, what do you mean when you say that the side table was a symbol for you ?
What kind of symbol ? The tabke moved it self.. i cannot explain this.

And also, could i still get justice for his crime, eventhough its so long ago, and im pretty sure my mom doesnt want to testify against him? We have never spoken about this after everything happend.. i dont my sister or brother would want to do it,

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for responding in the way you are doing.

I think that you are right.
Right about me being that anxious child.
I think that you are right about me looking for safety in men..
Maybe i do think this will magically go away. But it doesnt, its still here.

I dont know what to write down anymore at this moment.
All i know right now is that you are right.
And that i have to find a way to start healing myself..

Dear Amy,

thank you for responding to my post. And you r right. I dont think he was being kind or respectfull. He’s actuallyy also ignoring my texts. He did say one thing and acts like the other.

how can people treat other people like that? I feel used by this guy. I liked him so i kept texting him untill i noticed yesterday that im not important att all. I just want to say something to him. I dont want him to just move on now without feeling a little guilty for what he’s doing..

thank you for telling me that my anxiety kicking while i was there actually was a normal reaction to how he behaved.. his roommate was even nicer..

it makes me feel like shitt..  what do i do ?

We as a family of 4 were sent in to therapy. I think we only had one session where we had to draw things that had happend. What i draw was a man throwing plates on the floor from out a kotchen closeth. He broke them because they were technically his. Everything we had in the house was his. When he would leave he would tale everything with him. He controlled my moms life by creating distance between her and her family. He controlled our lifes.

After that i think my mom didnt want to go snymore and it was intense for us as well so we agreed.. i dont really know what happend after that.

he only got at restraining order for what he did back then and we just tried to move on.. i think i saw him once, driving in a bigtruck and we looked at eachother but i was never sure if it was my mind seeing him.. i often have this with people – i see their faces in other faces.

we never really spoke of it again, i found s tape once. With him manipulating my mother.

thankyou for readig and Responding Anita