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Little Lionness

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  • in reply to: What is "Home"? #124795
    Little Lionness
    Participant

    Thank you both for your beautiful and vivid descriptions of “Home”.

    Anita, you have a very interesting story. What did you think about living in Los Angeles as a city for that long, did you find it to be a more open place for different nationalities, or just a place like any other?

    Maria Mango, thank you for this beautiful sentiment: “You carry home in your heart, it’s not a geography but a feeling. You just have to figure out what walls you put up around your heart that stop you from connecting with the world around. Once those come down, you’ll feel home everywhere you go and the search will be over.”

    Your words touched my heart deeply. I think you’re right and deep inside, I’ve known this to be true for a long time. Still, I was hoping for a “magic bullet”, a place which would still my inner hunger for belonging. I thought LA would be that place.

    But what I found there wasn’t a home. What happened was that I was faced with my own fears and in turn started breaking down those walls, the ones that have been cutting me off from the world around me. So LA did kind of get me closer to home, but not in the way I expected. It brought me closer to my own heart.

    When we can heal those hurts within ourselves, maybe then we can feel at home in the world and walk without fear. That is my hope, one that I will never let go of. Best of luck to you, fellow Wanderers.

    in reply to: I slept with a coworker #124794
    Little Lionness
    Participant

    Thanks Anita for your kind reply. It IS in fact a big deal to me, but I am not interested in a relationship with him as I think it would be too complicated. For many reasons, not least the fact that we work together, but also because of who he is as a person. I couldn’t stand being in a relationship with an alcoholic.

    I feel myself creating a lot of drama around this which annoys me, because I want to be centered and not have him break my focus on becoming a better version of myself. But perhaps he is not a distraction but rather a solution.

    The positive thing that I learned from him was to just let go and enjoy the moment, that mistakes can teach us valuable things about ourselves. I am grateful that he taught me this, without knowing it.

    So I think I will not confront him. I will just keep treating him as any other colleague and be kind to him, as he is kind to me. If we find ourselves alone eventually, I might talk to him about it. I feel like this is an important sign sent from the universe which I have yet to understand.

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