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Lauren

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  • #158766
    Lauren
    Participant

    Hi Anita and Eliana,

    Thank you both so much for your thoughtful responses. I do think that the friendship was becoming too one sided, and that was the root of the hurt that I was feeling. I may never know the reasons why he changed his behavior, but I do need to accept that the friendship is just not where it once was and it may never be there again. The funny thing is, I heard from him this morning on my way to work – he texted me to let me know that he hopes I’m doing okay and have a good day. I responded and thanked him, but I think that it would be wise for me to draw back a little bit from the friendship to avoid strain and further disappointment. I am going to leave the door open, but moving forward I won’t expect anything from him.

    Lauren

    #158576
    Lauren
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you so much for your response. To clarify on the type of relationship we had, I think that he was very helpful and supportive to me when he was able to do so. However, due to his severe depression, we did not spend any quality time together and our relationship was mostly confined to texting. I expressed a desire to spend time with him on a few of occasions, and he said that he would very much like to but he didn’t feel comfortable being around anyone in his state of severe depression so I let it go. I was happy to hold space for him because I myself have suffered from depression and understand how difficult it can be to spend time with people when you feel so badly about yourself.

    He expressed previously that he really loved me as a friend, cared about me, and desired to keep in touch after he moved. But recently, it is as if a switch has been flipped so I am a bit confused and hurt. I texted him a handful of times to let him know that I was thinking of him and once he responded and said thank you. The other times, my texts have gone unanswered. I asked if he no longer wished to be in contact and he said that he did but he felt like he had nothing left to give. My friends have told me that he isn’t a good friend and that I should just stop holding out hope that he will reciprocate my friendship, but that hasn’t felt right to me. I suppose I am having difficulty letting him go because I do really care for him and don’t want to leave him hanging in his hour of need. But at the same time, the relationship has become very one sided, as he barely bothers to acknowledge me when I do reach out.  I think I got too attached to him and the possibility of friendship and perhaps I need to just take a step back and focus on taking care of my own mental and emotional health for now?

    Lauren

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Lauren.
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