I’ve never posted on here before, but must say this resonated with me.

I started my early life as a semi-professional sportsman, then became a musician and did (and still do) a variety of jobs – everything from gardening to bar work to writing. I undertook a PhD at 30 – this was coming off the back of 2-3 years of study, and (HUGE) debt! And in my later years I achieved quite highly without trying. Having essentially spent 4 years training as a teacher prior to my PhD (which I subsequently left for an MA, which I’m undertaking presently) I also had the same concerns: What about money, my future, security? Have I wasted all those years etc. etc. I even spent a year or two working as a supply teacher to try and convince myself that I could do this “just for the money” – which of course never works out 🙂

Presently I’m 33 and I’m doing an MA in Creative and Critical Writing and it feels ‘right’. I have little money and work odd jobs here and there. I suppose, I could look at it as though, work-wise, I’m not ‘fulfilling my potential’. But that simply wouldn’t be true. Sometimes I feel old and like I have no security – especially since I had to move back with my parents since I was the partner in a failed business the year previous! But again, this simply isn’t true. I can honestly say I am happier than I’ve ever been. Although, this hasn’t come from any external factors as such, it’s simply through practising and understanding that things will work out, and that you only ever have the present moment. I panicked about my course fees and how I would eat, but I got a large tax rebate from out of nowhere and then my course fees got reduced as well as some other fortuitous events. Okay I’m hardly rolling in it and sometimes it’s a tin of tuna for dinner, since I have no savings either 🙂 But had I never made that first step and decided to simply jump into the MA despite people telling me it was “beneath me” or that I “really should be doing a PhD,” or even telling myself “I can’t afford it” then none of these events would have transpired.

Money will come and go. And yes we need it, certainly, to live etcetera. But it is my experience if you simply accept what is in front of you and step off the cliff, so to speak, then things will happen that you never could of predicted. I’d always follow your gut. And believe me that’s been incredibly difficult for me to do, and sometimes like us all, I haven’t. But I can honestly say every time I have, and this applies to what I’m currently engaged in, things happen that I would have never thought possible. Stress stunts all forms of creativity and that includes deciding on your goal or purpose or whatever you want to call it. I’d personally try and work to switch your mind off and see what comes to you. It might even be something that you’ve never even considered. Good luck 🙂