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LJS

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  • in reply to: I am truly at a loss here…. #410558
    LJS
    Participant

    Anita,

    I am hoping that, in therapy, I can work on setting (and maintaining) healthy boundaries and healthy coping mechanisms to help me through this situation regardless of how it plays out. I think that is so important for my well being and the well being of my kids. I want to set a good example for them, and sometimes that means facing a difficult situation. Whether it works out or not. Thank you so much for your feedback!

    in reply to: I am truly at a loss here…. #410548
    LJS
    Participant

    The husband did not know about the affair before seeing the messages in her phone a month or so ago. My guy ended the affair with her once his divorce was final because he believed it was wrong for them to continue the affair. She didn’t want to end it, but agreed that it was for the best if its what he wanted.

    The guy I’m in a relationship with says that he wasn’t reaching out to her after we got back together, but that he wouldn’t ignore her if she reached out to him for support. I was not ok with that, as i think it would be too easy to slip back into old patterns and would make it difficult for him to move on from the relationship.

    The reason, he says, that he is not reaching out to either of us now is because I think he wants us, she and I, to have control over the communication. He says he feels guilty for not knowing which of us he wants to be with, so he is trying to be supportive of us both, but not lean on either of us for any kind of support for himself. He is completely open about the fact that he knows it’s a messed up deal, and just wants to get it figured out through counseling.

    in reply to: I am truly at a loss here…. #410543
    LJS
    Participant

    So, that is an almost completely accurate summation. The only thing I didn’t communicate well was that he ended the affair a month before he started dating me. 4-5 months  into his relationship with me they began texting outside of work again. That is when her husband caught her. They are no longer together and are currently getting divorced.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)