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luna

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  • August 6, 2014 at 1:25 am #62742
    luna
    Participant

    Hi Heather,

    Thanks so much for sharing! It’s always a relief to know that you’re not the only one going through a certain situation (although at the same time, the less people that experience it, the better, I guess…!). Especially when it feels like the end of the world when you’re in the middle of such a situation. I think that this quote “Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve” rings very true to me. In my case I can’t say that he doesn’t love me (in some way), or that he has treated me completely without respect, but I guess it hasn’t been with the full respect that I deserve. In your case, you are absolutely right! You absolutely do not deserve this kind of negative energy and response, and I you’ve made a great decision to let it go. Now you go on and thrive 🙂

    Thanks once again for your kind words 🙂

    August 5, 2014 at 12:54 am #62659
    luna
    Participant

    Hi Big Blue,

    Yes, it makes sense 🙂 He has always been there for me however, it was never just a one-way thing. I have just told him that I will take some time apart to focus on myself. I can definitely see that there is a dependency for me because not having him to talk to makes me feel sick. I see that this is unhealthy though, so this time apart can only be a good thing.
    On a more uplifting note, I made the start of some positive changes in my life yesterday and I’ve realised that maybe this situation is the catalyst to becoming the better person I keep telling myself I want to be!

    August 4, 2014 at 6:09 am #62572
    luna
    Participant

    Thanks, I agree, we should not let fear control us. I think it’s hard to realise this when so much emotion is involved. I am just confused about how to be a good friend in this particular situation. I think it is best to sort myself out first.

    August 4, 2014 at 4:05 am #62569
    luna
    Participant

    Hi Alpal,
    That helps a lot, thank-you! I think you’re right and he may well be confused. The issue of needing me in his life (but not in a romantic way) is quite hard to deal with. I feel like I’m fulfilling the role of girlfriend without actually being one. However, I know that I can’t count on his feelings changing any time soon. I have to get on with my own life and dealing with the things which I know have made me more negative than usual recently (changing careers and feeling isolated in a small town). I will take some time off from him and see if I can sort myself out first.

    Thanks! 🙂

    August 4, 2014 at 2:21 am #62566
    luna
    Participant

    Hi! Thanks so much for your reply. I think you’re right, and you’ve put into words what I’ve been trying to make myself face up to. I think sometimes you just need someone to tell you what you’re already thinking.
    I find it hard not to get myself into these situations. I naturally form quite intense bonds with people, which is something that I’m generally grateful for, but in this situation perhaps has backfired, as it has ended up as some form of dependency.

    Thank-you for the reminder that nothing is forever. I hate absolutes and yet I masochistically force them from other people. I definitely need to take a step back and breath and calm down 🙂

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