I don’t think so. She brought up a lot of things from the past, which is a bad habit of hers, and i don’t know what her intentions were but it stirred up quite a bit of guilt within me. In hindsight, one of the things I didn’t really like about the relationship was how she wasn’t able to easily move past things and forgive me. And it’s not as if I did serious things like cheating or physical abuse. It was things like miscoummnication or saying something that was tactless or rubbed her the wrong way.

Hey Anita,

Hahaha thank you for your kind words.

I think I did something unkind recently. It’s relevant to this thread. Basically, I found out that my ex is travelling with her ex and staying together while doing so. I reached out to confirm this in an accusatory and rather judgemental way. In other words, I could have definitely phrased it better but I guess emotions got the better of me and I casted my judgement which I believe is a very logical conclusion that they were together and possibly sleeping together. I fully acknowledge that it is none of my business at this stage and I should have definitely left her alone and she’s free to do whatever she wants. Anyway, she insists that nothing was going on between them and my message to her was unkind and uncalled for. I expressed my skepticism that nothing was happening between them due to the logistics of staying in an airbnb together with 1 bed etc and their history together. Anyway, looking back I don’t think what I said was unkind, maybe my accusation of them sleeping together was unkind.

Q

I’m feeling a little strange. I’m all out of tears, I’m not particularly sad anymore. I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. I know I should move on and focus on things about my own life. I can’t help but feel like I wasted my time, disrespected myself. Yes i think what i’m feeling is this whole situation isn’t fair but life is never fair.

Hey Anita,

how are you?

Anyway, just an update, the chances of reconciliation are officially zero and the door has been closed. I knew this would be the outcome but I’m still feeling numb. I’m still feeling numb and bad even though the break up was months ago and now I just had the final nail in the coffin.

If I could turn back time, I would not hold on and move on completely as hard as that sounds. All my friends told me I dodged a bullet but I’m still unhappy.

I will get back to you when I can. I’m currently feeling very overwhelmed – the job search, lack of results. I don’t see what my future is going to shape out to be and I feel like i’ve been stuck here for too long, almost 2 years. I feel like giving up even though idk what giving up means.

I hope you had a good weekend.

““Why did you doubt yourself when you said that something to that person? What was said?”- I was being very nice to this older man, trying to make him feel good, but then I got scared, thinking I was trying too hard and came across weird. I wish I was milder. I wish I said less and was less invested, giving people space.”

I like to think nobody will remember what we said to them after 24 hours 🙂

I spent the weekend thinking about things. I don’t know why i’m taking so long or finding it so hard to kill the hope and just move on.

I’m completely lost at what my next move should be.

Why did you doubt yourself when you said that something to that person? What was said?

To be honest, the job i got recently wasn’t a good fit and it was completely not what I expected. I feel a bit deceived and things weren’t aligned with me and management so we both decided it’s best to part ways and find something more appropriate. So I feel like i’m back to square one. I’ve been trying to convince myself that being unemployed while trying in these times is completely normal and I shouldn’t be feeling bad about it, but it’s hard.

At the same time, I believe my ex has returned back from overseas for a while now and the silence from her indicates that she has no interest in us anymore. I think it hurts my ego a bit because I feel like I deserve at least a message from her. I can honestly say that looking back I treated her well and earnestly and I feel disappointed that reality is what it is.

Hmm it’s okay. I wanted to update that im pretty positive im not over my ex and I see myself realistically taking about 4 more months before i can move on. I would love to accelerate this process and stop being so powerless. I would be lying if i were to say i have no desire to speak or reconnect w them. And im frustrated at sounding like a broken record, cycling through these thoughts and feelings every few weeks. I just want peace.