fbpx
Menu

Mayra

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Feeling lost and heartbroken #231623
    Mayra
    Participant

    Katylee, Thank you for sharing your story.

    I believe that we humans are very complex and so our relationships, also that complexity gives place to an infinite possibilities in our experience of love. It is also very mysterious (at least for me) why and who we fell in love with. So, in my perspective you’re not a terrible person, you are just human. And it’s not that YOU deserve to suffer because of what “you did”, you just gave a shot to that person, you felt it was the right thing to do because of that love that you felt. Now you’re in a painful situation where you can find something, some truth about yourself, something that will make you grow.. Maybe you did met for a reason, maybe he is actually teaching your soul something, it wasn’t what you expected for sure but maybe you can discover something.

    I’ve heard similar stories, myself included fell in love with someone while being engaged, I’ve known people that fell in love while married and decided to stay together, people leaving their marriages for some new love and being very happy, others completely the opposite. So this is your own experience, your are not alone, you are not terrible, you are just learning and living. I think that we can’t control the result of the choices that we give a shot to, we decide expecting the best outcome, but life it’s like that. You made a choice, he made a choice and even though you love him, he is not fully compromising with you for whatever reason he has, so if you need to be heartbroken, be heartbroken, live your pain and do something nice for you everyday. What works for me is to sit with that discomfort and pay attention to my feelings and write how I feel everyday, being very honest with myself, going for walks, talking to friends, taking it easy on a daily basis. Still I have days I feel so confused is overwhelming but in the end I know everything is temporary no matter how hard it feels, everything changes. 🙂

    I hope you feel more clear as the time goes by.

    in reply to: Help: In love with two people at the same time #231615
    Mayra
    Participant

    Hello HoneyBlossom and Anita, thanks for your replies.

    This is something I need to work on; “we have to compromise in a way that we can be content enough, making the best out of the life that is available to us. Happiness is not and cannot be a permanent state of mind, a permanent experience no matter who we are with, no matter what.”

    I feel like I’m so reluctant to live the experience of relationship I observed from my parents and uncles, violent, toxic, manipulating and overall toxic. That I’m searching for something “perfect” and trying to control and plan everything about my future in one single day so I don’t get to live what I lived in my childhood, I’m scared to let go and scared to compromise bc I’m scared living the same traumatic episodes.

    Today I had my first therapy session and spend the whole day crying because of this realization.

    Today I don’t know what I want and it’s ok I guess, I can’t control everything.

    Thank you for reading.

    in reply to: Help: In love with two people at the same time #231391
    Mayra
    Participant

    Oh and about the routine, it’s more like things out of the most common things; going to the movies, working, having dinner, those kind of things. But outside of that like going dancing or deciding something spontaneous, even walking in the park or trying something new in our intimacy he’s always like “nah that’s not me”. Also it feels horrible that he is trying to be more open and spontaneous. But I already feel tired or mentally somewhere else. 🙁

    in reply to: Help: In love with two people at the same time #231389
    Mayra
    Participant

    Hello Anita, I’m trying to communicate as little as possible with both of them. I find it easier to reply to my ex boyfriend he just texts to see if I’m OK. The guy from Chile also writes to me every 2 or 3 days but he doesn’t know that I was seeing my ex, I just told him I was having a crisis and that I needed to be in silence. I want to be honest with both of them but I’m afraid. I’m starting taking therapy tomorrow since started to have anxiety attacks. I’ve written all that can be written in the matter to clear my head. But always end up in the same place. I don’t know what I want.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)