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Niu

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  • #42608
    Niu
    Participant

    P.S. Happy Birthday!!! 😀

    #42607
    Niu
    Participant

    Hi Sapna,

    Sorry that you’re feeling so much pain and sadness. Not sure I can say I have any great advice except that “This too shall pass” and that this is an excellent time to look into yourself for transformation. One of the ancient scriptures that has always helped me (can’t believe I haven’t use this yet in my suffering now!!! Will do immediately!) is the 8 Versus of Training the Mind. You can find them all over the internet but HH the Dalai Lama has it on his website with a little bit of wisdom added in.

    If you’re into Vipassana meditation, I really find S.N. Goenka’s courses invaluable. They are all over the world, but you will need 10 days and must be silent the entire time. It is not easy, but it’s worth it! Here’s the website so you can check it out: http://www.dhamma.org/. The column on the right has links to courses all over the world. Check it out!

    don’t worry about how long the healing process is taking or what others say. You have to nurture your heart and let it all unfold naturally. But doing a meditation course can surely help! Good luck!

    #42564
    Niu
    Participant

    Hi Mac,

    I read about your situation and can feel your pain over the months that this has occurred. I hope you can find peace and acceptance sooner than later. I really like the advice Matt and some others have given you about keeping an open heart and wishing the best for him. I found that that helped me out of a hole in my heart (only to throw me into another–but that’s another post!), and brought my consciousness to another level. I’m finding that asking myself if I’m showing myself love and respect in the situation helps because do we really want to be with someone who can’t fulfill our needs? I know, I know, then the question of unconditional love comes in and all the hope…aaackkk!

    One thing that helped me when I was going through my divorce 5 years ago was Pema Chodron’s Getting Unstuck. One thing she talks about is learning to stay in the moment rather than allow your mind to drift into the past or future… Probably one of the biggest insights I had was after she said something along the lines of us knowing we are going to die sooner or later, so how long do I want to spend the time I have to live life sad or angry? The answer was simple: NOT LONG. That was powerful for me. l So many points she make in that teaching helped me to let go…now I only need to practice it in the situation I’m in NOW. 😛 But I’m trying to take advantage of this tender heart so that I can possible launch myself into positive transformation. So I know it’s not easy, but decide if this is worth getting physical complications besides the mental ones…I think you need to start taking care of you. You’re worth it!

    #42563
    Niu
    Participant

    Hi Macintosh,

    Thank you for your reply and kind words. I does sound like you understand and that makes me feel like I’m not alone.

    I’m grieving the loss and am allowing myself to cry. At first I tried to close my heart to the love that was growing for him, but that was creating some negative feelings in my heart that I didn’t want, so I decided to let that love flow and to love him fully. Now I’m feeling sorry for myself because I’ll never get to share this love in the way I’d like. I guess it’s just meant for me to love him and let him go. 🙁

    I respect him for putting his child before himself and then feel even worse because of these unfortunate circumstances! It sure sounds like I’m really doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself! I know I’ll get over this as this isn’t my first broken heart, but it sure does help to get support from people like you. I can only cry about this to my friends and family so much before it starts to get old for them–I totally understand! Again, thank you for your words of wisdom.

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