I had a boyfriend last year, I loved him so much, everything was special, we were like yin and yang, so similar yet so opposite. But, he made some things I can’t forgive. My 2 friends, but not real friends were his ex girlfriends, they two were best friends. When he was out with me, my friends were also there. I touched his pocket from jacket unintentionally and he went mad. After that, he took one of his exes aside and took ganja from the pocket so they can smoke. Some 20mins after that, they began to smoke, after that they called me to. Anyway, we broke up from another reasons, but the real one was this one. I loved him after the broke up too, but I wanted to win, so after 7 months we were going out again, but I cut it out after some week. He said that he want to be with me, that we finnaly can succeed, but he didn’t said that he love me, I waited to say that, I told him that I love him, but nothing. We stayed friends, but everytime we talked he said to me that I’m afraid of him, that all is his fault, that he’s changed, he want to be with me for whole life and when we finally agreed to go out, he acused me that I like his friend and like the profile pic of his ex, but this time the other one (they were 2 my friends). After that I forbade him to talk with me or say to someone that he actually know me. I contacted with his friend (who actually I don’t like him at all) but my ex writed from his facebook sometimes. I wanted to be together with him again, I loved him after all, but after the summer holiday in camp, I don’t love him anymore.
I don’t know what to do, the chanses to be together is big, he does everything to make some contact with me, I still shake when I see him or hear about him, he’s still my thrill, but I hate him on the other side. I’m in my town this month, after that I’ll go to study to the other, but our country is small, we all know each other from the other towns. So, I thoughted, what would be better, to be with him again so my love and life energy go back to me, or to live without him, look for another love in this world without love, living without that life energy I possesed 18 years of my life, but stopped to feel one year ago til now and search for some new energy and love to feel?