It sounds like there’s nothing more that you can do if you have already apologized and made an effort. Unfortunately these things happen.  Even though you meant well sometimes it’s better just not to get involved. It used to bother me a great deal  when friendships would dwindle or end. Now I have come to except that all friendships aren’t meant to be and all relationships  aren’t permanent.  I have found that friendships at work can be complicated at times  and many of the friends I had at different jobs were not friendships that continued when we no longer worked together.  Now that I am older I keep friendships at work very professional.

This is a question I have been asking myself lately too. I have had a constant battle with quitting smoking, quitting starting again quitting.  I became aware of the thought that I was ignoring that when I was feeling down I had a hidden thought that I didn’t care enough about myself to quit smoking.  I’ve made it a week without a cigarette this time and when I think I want one I focus on thoughts of my health and how I need to do this for myself. I also battle with the thought that I have to be highly productive all the time and for the first time in my adult life have found myself with a  Job that doesn’t require me to work long hours. I’m allowing myself to take more time to do things for me. I still fight the thought of feeling that I should be working but then have to tell myself it’s OK to take time for me .  To read a book, to go for a walk to garden, to go to a festival.

You know there is a saying that you must first love yourself and I’m thinking that may apply here. You’ve made some references about waiting for a man, but I don’t think it actually works like that. Whether its doing activities or online dating, some proactivity is needed.

2 years ago I was betrayed by my husband and partner of 17 years. I still don’t feel ready to date. I feel too wounded and not in a good place to bring a healthy relationship into my life, so I am working on me, getting my self-esteem back up and my life in order so I am in a good place to bring a good relationship into my life. Happy people want to be around happy people.

I did date someone for a coupe of months last spring and he was critical, bossy and not supportive. I realized that since my self esteem was low and I was lonely in a new town that I was accepting this. Luckily it didn’t last and I recognize it and am determined to not do that again. I’m not ready to date because my self esteem isn’t strong.

I was going to counseling after the divorce, but like you couldn’t keep paying for it. So instead, I find things to read, videos to watch, I walk and garden. I recommend reading Brenee Brown. If you don’t want to buy books, she has videos online from her TedTalks. I find lots of good TedTalks. I also listen to podcasts. Seek things on the subject of self-esteem, healing past trauma. I have also found good stuff related to the subject of bulling, particularly memoirs. I find it cathartic to know others have felt the same way and have overcome their past.

I too was bullied as a kid and found that my husbands meanness and betrayal brought it back up to the surface for me. I had good years combined with our relationship, my job success and family and friends where my self-esteem was good. But the end of the marriage at the same time as the death of my mother also came with having to move a long distance by myself, figuring out a new career (while being jobless) and the loss of several friendships, some due to the divorce and some to other circumstances. It like my entire life was washed away and I have started anew. I still have bad days but I have more good and I try to look at it as a fresh beginning and appreciate the progress I have made. My attitude is that I’m making a comeback! By the way, I’m 47.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Carl Gustav Jung