I can’t tell you what is best for you to do, only you can determine that.

What I can tell you, however, is that when I was a scared 19 year old and pregnant from an abusive boyfriend, I scheduled immediately for an abortion. Logically it made sense to do. I was broke, uneducated and saw children as a nuisance, parenthood as a prison.

Emotionally, however, as I thought about it, there began a stirring of uncertainty that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. As the date of the abortion approached, it grew to a shrill crescendo of protest. I had no idea what I was doing but listened and never did show up for that appointment.

I am now 24 with an almost 5 year old, gainfully employed in an enjoyable and well-benefited job, debt-free and most importantly, content. I know I’m living a beautiful life that would never have been possible without the growth, discipline, strength, endurance and wisdom that raising my son alone has given me. Don’t get me wrong, it has been grueling and ugly along the way, but those dark times have worked to slough off the parts that weren’t ever needed. (They also always gave way to times that were much, much better.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s no way for any of us to know what the future can bring, so don’t be intimidated. I know it’s terrifying. I know it doesn’t make sense. But you are a woman. Your inner intuitions are your power, and much wiser than the outwardly imposed idea of “sense” or “logic” that can come from some pretty flawed and judgmental societal expectations.

You’re doing great by asking others their insight and opinions. Keep doing that. Collect everything you can and then, go over what you’ve collected and pick out what rings the most true to you.

Take a moment to discern between your ego, (and other’s ego) and your intuition and listen carefully to the latter. You will be guided and know exactly what to do.

Kind wishes of only the best,
M