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Maria

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  • #170879
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi Eliana,

    Thank you for your response. You’re right and I personally don’t want to be in this friendship anymore but I don’t know how to go about ending it? I could easily block him and never talk to him again but it feels like it would play on my conscience. I don’t want to get more abuse hurled at me if I explain it to him either though

    #169453
    Maria
    Participant

    Dreaming715,

    I was also in a similar situation to you. I had abandonment issues since childhood and I know how difficult it can be. I also dealt with jealousy issues concerning my boyfriend and a model he knew. He would like her pictures often on social media, and I became obsessed almost- checking her pictures most days to see if my boyfriend had liked or commented on them. What you have to do is take a step back, and realise that this is a result of overthinking. As a user previously stated, your boyfriend is moving in with you and not her. He loves you, and sure, he might find her funny or even attractive but you are the one he has the romantic interest in. It is okay for our significant others to find others attractive, it’s human nature. But he values you and loves you- that’s why you are dating now. Just because you aren’t ‘exotic’ as you say, doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. Roses and sunflowers look different but are both very beautiful. Try not to compare yourself to others or seek validation from him. Instead, be mindful of any time you notice yourself waiting for a compliment or trying to receive a certain reaction from him. Focus on yourself- what is amazing and unique about you. As cliche as it sounds- you have to love yourself first in order to love someone else.

    I hope the journey is smooth for you,

    Maria

    #122632
    Maria
    Participant

    Anita

    Thank you for your advice. I was never able to attend therapy but those skills do definitely sound like a good idea. Would you advise practicing these daily or just when I feel the panic attacks and stress coming on?

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)