Sorry it sent before I finished!

Yes I remember writing those posts and how upset I was at the time when I sent them. As for the weed/drug situation he has actually stopped that entirely for me a few months ago and i know has been working or aware of his anger ..so I know he really does want things to work and tries to make changes to keep me. Yes I guess in this present moment considering how the last few days have been it does feel right to go on my own rather than force something that’s not working right now and for my friends/family sake.

Apart from that when i get back I’m still holding on to a hope that maybe he could get help / we could and still be together after some time apart?? He is my home here, everything..i feel really lost without him 🙁 In between the arguments its like we have the best relationship, we treat each other well, we do have trust and i know we really love each other..it’s just like you said when i have to bring up a fragile issue or with communication. I just feel so sick inside right now because i really believe if you love each other you can get through anything.

Also as you’ve seen on the news I’m actually going back to where all the earthquakes are and bad weather so its all scary and I don’t think I’ll be moving home anytime soon. I was just starting to feel at home in Australia with him 🙁

Thanks again x

Sorry it sent before I finished!

Yes I remember writing those posts and how upset I was at the time when I sent them

Thankyou +Anita for the quick reply and giving so much of your time for helping others btw!

Sorry, me again!

I agree +anita but he still thinks its about weed. And if its not about weed, its about other issues like ex girlfriends, family..etc when really I see it as being about the way he reacts and deals with things I say.

We broke up and he flys down the country to attend a wedding on his own. He then is in so much pain he calls me and says he’s booked a flight for me last minute and I have to be there. When I get there I feel a bit anxious, not sure but again he’s so romantic and generous..trying to show us a good night and telling me how much he loves me and cares until he misunderstands another thing I say/do later in the night and gets angry again..turns into the biggest argument. All of yesterday he then says we can’t break up and he understands the problems, will do ANYTHING to change..therapy, you name it. I said ok we will see but I might just need some time. We come back home on a nice ending..

Last night I woke up at 2:30am to nightmares and fell into a massive panic attacks whilst having the most painful stomach ache (I beleive this is a sign of fear mind body spirit are connected) which led me to vomiting for 5 hours. I’m really sick today in bed and all he has been doing is rehashing why we have been fighting from his OLD perspective of me attacking or “controlling him” and again..his views on weed. I thought yesterday he said he understood the root cause but today he’s back to the same story 🙁

What from I’ve told you, am I going crazy? Or do you think this man actually has some big issues which I can’t fix anymore? I feel like im on a rollarcoaster..I love him so much and he says we will get therapy and change but why would I wake up at 2am and be horribly ill?
I know this is not healthy but I am so attached now in every way I don’t know whether to give us one last chance or just give up to protect myself.

Are we in a toxic relationship?? 🙁

+anita I have tried suggesting therapy to him and for both of us but he doesn’t understand how he hurts me or that he even has any problems. He says by me thinking he has problems I’m making myself out to be “perfect” and a hypocrite..or above him. He turns everything I say onto me and it becomes a blame game. He can’t swallow his pride and see that he has anger issues which affect our relationship.

I feel he makes it all about weed – that I won’t accept him doing it and am trying to control him. But what its really about is how he reacts and deals with certain situations by getting angry. 2 days ago he was working so hard and vaping every day. I come up to him and gently say lets go to bed, you look tired..and high .. (which i couldve left out but i was just saying it how it was) then he gets defensive and said “well you were watching a movie while i have to work so what else would I do.” I knew where it was going to be directed so I gently told him i was off to bed and then somehow it esculates from there..he comes in and starts getting angry saying I’m trying to control him and treat him differently when he takes it and im a nasty person. I get upset and start crying then he shouts and it continues from there.. we have now broken up but I just feel so dissapointed and hurt. I really love this man..we share all the same interests, goals, passions, hes romantic and gentle natured most of the time and I do accept him through anything but I can’t keep being his punching bag 🙁 is this right? He always comes back later and says he’ll change and hes just stubborn and defensive but when will he change? When does this cycle end?

And what is everyones views on weed (i am not anti it at all, I just feel like in this particular situation its used as escapism or a bad habbit)

Sorry for the long vent. You can just ignore this if you like, I’m emotional and single now. haha.

+anita thankyou for the advice. Do you know the best way of convincing him to see someone? when everythings calmed down he explains why he gets angry (hes a very black & white factual kinda guy) and that he promises to work on it but I don’t think he actually realizes how much it affects me. I see myself as a pretty gentle natured person and reasonable to talk to about anything so if he can just communicate his feelings calmly we wouldn’t have these arguments.

Ahh sorry, I should’ve clarified about his mother..his parents are divorced and shes the one that is on his side, he has a very complicated relationship with his father and his whole side are the ones who disowned / hurt him when he needed him the most. I agree about supporting him no matter what though your right.

Its so good to finally be able to get some clarity on it all, thanks!!!

wow thank you for all the kind and thoughtful replies, you’ve given me a lot to think about 🙂 I will definitely look into the work and travel option! I also got my first psychic reading done last week which opened up a lot of clarity for me on my direction/the journey i am currently on. Dillo your comment “But I also know that, once our Higher Selves have set a concrete goal, the Universe has a way of providing the opportunities along our path that will lead us there” put alot in perspective for so thankyou 🙂 <3