Noted, I’ll do that and if for any reason I’m off track, please let me know.

Anita, thank you for sharing. We mirror our parents, they are our first impressions of who we strive to ultimately be. I’m sorry to hear about the relationship you had with your mother, sending you a warm hug. Try not to be too hard on yourself, your mom birthed you not the other way around. She was responsible for teaching you and nurturing. Sometimes closed people are willing to open up; and if they remain guarded it’s because they’ve never worked toward opening up.

As I said in a previous post, introspection is extremely important. It allows us to have good emotional balance and a moral compass. I’ve been centered all my life until recently. Joining Tiny Buddha has definitely released some sadness especially when reading what others are sharing. Let’s go toward the idyllic place knowing we can foster the most healthy and amazing relationships.
I’m done with shrinking myself. I’m striving to be the best I can be without apology. I suggest you strive for the same; journal whenever you can and read, read, read it helps to cultivate good awareness.

Chat soon!
Martha.

Dear Sonia,

Welcome to the fellowship of women who tend to be devoted and loving to loved ones. Try to view our lives this way. Different skin types; I’m combination oily and so you may also have the same, Anita may also have combination therein lies a commonality which send us in search for the same products and perhaps it’s genetics in most cases. That being said there are groups of people who are emotionally, mentally and intellectually share similarities. We are perhaps in that group of similarities.
A deceased friend whom while she lived shared an important fact, she used to say “you cannot put ballet slippers on a pig” meaning the pig would never know what to do with pearls. As much as you are there for your friend which is an excellent trait being his support system, you are also an enabler; almost like the parent who runs to catch the kid every time they fall, you have large capacities, big arms, strength in devotion, liberal love. However, be mindful as you doll out affections his needing you can deplete your energy.

One day you get up feeling less energetic and it’s just a maddening effect that has nothing to really do with you. Don’t feel guilty, you cannot help a person unless he or she wants to help themselves.

We, the Giving Fellows has to just find our tribe and learn from each other. In giving we learn a lot; and the sweetness is tasted sometimes from strangers who regard us with each act of kindness and not necessarily from close friends or family members. Our nearest and dearest subject us to myriad of emotions that I have come to realize is pathetic.

A wise man once said “There’s the family you are born into and there’s the family you choose.” I have accepted the latter with an open mind and heart. Hope this helps? Chat soon.

Thanks all for your wisdom and your time.

Martha.

Greetings Sonia,

I’m only just learning about just how important REAL communication is about. Showing our most vulnerable side, even when it hurts to do so. Going the emotional distance even when we feel somewhat tired, learning to shrink our ego’s, the human beast.
Now, I read your post and walked in your shoes until only recently when I decided to end a very very long friendship. After years of evaluating the what’s the why and the if’s, I did look at my participation. Having realized my friend would brag for years that if it were not for me the friendship would not have survived, because I was the consistent and loyal one. I never quite evaluated her statement but understand now that perhaps I ran a marathon without a running partner.

My friend in her late 50’s is now starting a career. I am now thinking about a second career. I just thrown myself head in first for pure unadulterated, trusting and loving friendship. My friend did hurt me and humiliate me after a visit to her house about 7 years ago. She had stopped speaking to me for a few months, would not return my calls or my texted messages. I decided to show up at her house as I was very worried and after almost 30 years of friendship her husband said I was not welcome, as I stood on their front stoop in total shock, still not knowing what I had done, he caved and I was eventually invited in. She arrived home a few hours later and the rest went downhill from there.

My friend never apologized for insulting me in her home. She embarked on a career thereafter and I decided to extend the olive branch and assist her professionally in every aspect. I still did everything in my power to talk about the issue. She told me she was never going to apologize and worse had no clue why she had cut me off. Her behavior has really taken a toll on me, I crashed just last week.

The light at the end of this tunnel: Tiny Buddha always saves my sanity. Whenever I’m at my lowest I come here where the space is vast and endless, a place where I feel the possibility for love and joy are endless. Where I can find a community of people who may never ask me to diminish myself to make others feel worthy.

I do a lot of self introspection which brings about self awareness. If doing so means being the odd girl out, then I guess I’ll be on a solo journey.

Thanking all for listening and sharing.

Martha