I just wish that she saw the bigger picture with me instead of that elusive spark. I am a kind,supportive person with good career in the emergency services . She felt like our relationship was bumbling along despite me looking forward for her to move in with me and looking at buying a place together.We talked about children. I really don’t understand how she didn’t see a future with me unless I could have been more overt and positive to her in what I wanted.

Hi Anita. I did speak to her parents on two occasions  who in summary told me it was nothing that I did wrong and that she had changed. Her parents liked me and how kind and supportive I was. Her mum even told me that she expected  us to be a married couple. I thought they were honest with me however they were protective of her in saying anything further which I understood.

Thanks for the reply Anita. I would definitely describe myself as a reserved, calm and consistent guy.  My friends do describe as being a bit like vanilla – not very exciting! I’m an emergency services worker and I naturally try to rescue or support people. With my ex’s anxiety she never fully opened up to me with how bad it was but I was her rock and kind to her. It reassured me so much when she told me trusted me.

I’ve read up a lot on relationship styles and feel like she was anxious avoidant.She needed those overt and continued acts of passion to reassure her. My personality wasn’t naturally disposed to that. Maybe as she got older she wanted something different from a relationship

Thanks for your reply Inky. I was 33, she was 28. We started our relationship when we she was 23. She did tell me when we met up for the closure that if I had asked her to marry me 2 years ago that she would have said yes. I feel that she changed and wanted something different but she didn’t know what that was. All of my friends have said that on reflection we were not compatible and had different personalities. They said that even if we did marry it may not have lasted.