I dont think thats gonna work. It is not about him earning more or less. Those things can be taken care of later. First thing that is important is to love each other and respect each other which I think is very important for a sustainable relationship. I need to sort out my part, and he will sort out his part.

And about giving him ultimatum, he knows that my parents are pressurising me.

I dont want to be like my father. I want to be like mother, who cares for everyone, values family, keeps the whole family together. But yes, I want to be a person who doesn’t tolerate torture. I want to take stand for myself. But maybe yes, I have become like father, hurting people to take revenge. But I hate this about being like this.

What can I do to avoid this, my reaction is so involuntary that I dont get time to think before I react.

Its a forum so I can be truthful. Yes my parents have issues. Actually my father is an abusive person. I have always seen my mother silently being beaten up. He is not alcoholic but he has that manly nature, where he likes to control others. I have always seen fight while growing up. It still goes on at my home.