Anita, I will summarize.

1. Breathing excersises before sleep, doing every day for over two weeks, its helping to Relax my body, its like a nice ritual

2. Breathing excersises when I am in panic mode, a few times, its helping for about 15-30 minutes, but Im still thinking about neighbours

3. excersise with comperison about my fathers behaviour and neighbours, a week of evening excersise, before sleep. for the first time worked perfect, I could easily remeber my emotion in past and now. After about third time Ive done this before sleep, my mind Keeps wandering and the memories of my father are getting weaker, I dont feel this that much as for the first time. So each night its less powerful comparing to first one. In the day I cannot focus, I tried even to write this down. My mind is super absorbed in neighbours and cannot focus on the past and on clear thoughts.

I know that its not like super long, I didnt mean to come and say „oh nothing works after a week or two”. Ive come because its like a safe place to talk about this. And just want to add some more things that I can grasp, another excersise.

I have two ideas, first to start meditate, second to make some tre excersises for coping with ptsd. Some simple after breakfast to meditate and excersises in another part of day.

Meg

Anita, thank you for your help. I will modify excersice and check for results. And be posting about progress and my thoughts. It was really great way to see that Im not alone, this forum and whole site is super helpful 🙂

Meg

I want to update on my experience. Today I was doing that excersise during day, in the morning, when neighbours were talking downstairs. I was trying to remember my father and then said that what is now is now. It was harder to remember past events and feelings of them, but I was less panicky over situation downstairs. I was pretty calm and that really suprised me. Today was sunny day, maybe this also change my mood a little, but I was thinking less about situation with neighbours. Maybe something is moving in right direction, I would like to hear your opinion Anita about this. Isn’t this too soon? Of course I fell that a lot work to do, but today excersise was comforting.

Meg

Anita, I’ve read your last post and did like you ask last night. I first listen to some breathing techniques and then go to bed and try to remember what it was like. It wasn’t hard, it came very quick. I remember the sound of key in lock, his steps next to my door, talking, pleading, checking door nob. But I was also able to remember how I act, the tension, freezing myself to be able to hear EVERYTHING better and now what to do. My shallow breath and even like I feel my ear muscles. I must say that I was pretty calm, but it make me cry a bit. I usually tend to do that. After this I just go to sleep like normal. Also there was no other sounds at home or from neighbours at this time.

Sherin, thank you for your insight! I think that you are right, its easy for me to avoiding caring for myself etc and focusing on others. Thank you for that idea, it gives me more hope that I will controle my life, like my real life and what I want to do 🙂

Meg

Hi Inky!
I agree with you, noises are everywhere. I am currently doing relaxing session in the evening, only week straight but I will continue and hope that this helps. I have to look up that blanket. Not sure about last option, they’re total strangers. but maybe I will work on thinking more positive towords them, not like enemies but humans… sounds weird but maybe it will help.
Thank for sugestions and replay, means a lot.

Anita, yes, you get it perfect. Like you were reading my mind. I make them enemies in my mind.
From your sugestions I am currently using earphones to sleep with sounds of nature (waves, rain etc.) and this is helping me to sleep. There is no pure silence so I can stop thinking about what and when I hear sth.
Plugs were used by my earlier, but now the silence is not good.
I bought recently bluetooth headphones and using them as little silencer.
About talking to them, I am very reluctant based of what reactions I got in other times. I dont want to to this yet, also because I know that it is not that bad. I mean, my fear feels real, but when people talking on 11 am and Im freaking out…its not okey.

Maybe I will ad something more, same situation with fear was during my vacations with boyfriend and our short weekend trip. I hear someone outside our room and bang, freezing mode on.
It bothers me that I am adding difficulties to our relationship. Yesterday we had a little argument about it. He is worried about me but when I try to explain he dont get it.
I want to change to make myself better and feel better. I am putting aside my life and focusing on this fear. Recently started to reading book about panic and cbt so maybe this will be good input.
What I can say more… when I was a kid my father was drinking heavily, I was like a noise meter, is he coming home, should we go to another room to avoid him… maybe it is also a little contected.
Thanks for all the replays,
Meg