October 14, 2019 at 11:30 am #317817
“Isn’t this too soon?” – for the exercise to work for you, you mean- no, it is not too soon, but for continuous progress, you will need to repeat the exercise.
Also, like you mentioned, it was a sunny day- and that was probably a part of the reason you felt better today, but it is not the only reason.
On another day, grey and rainy, or let’s say you feel a bit sick or have a current life problem (let’s say an unexpected expense comes about)- you will not feel as good following the exercise as you did today. Maybe the exercise will not make you feel better at all.
But persist, keep doing the exercise. Be patient with the process of doing it over-time, and you will be in a better mental state sooner than later.
October 14, 2019 at 12:49 pm #317841
- This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
Okey, now I understand. And also have a question, can I somehow modify the excersise done in the day by writhing thoughs? Because its hard to grab this and focus and feel in the moment, especially when Im not alone in the room. Or maybe I should start practicing meditation to be able to focus more? Is there something more that you would suggest? Thank you.
MegOctober 14, 2019 at 1:03 pm #317845
Yes, you can write thoughts, absolutely. You can experiment with modifying the exercise and see for yourself what works and what doesn’t. (Try a modification a few times before you conclude it doesn’t work because of other factors involved, such as it being a sunny day or a grey day).
I don’t have anything else to suggest regarding this topic of noise, beyond what I already did, only that you keep the practice you already started. There is no magical solution that you do once and it works forevermore. It takes the persistent, patient, ongoing practice of the one solution that already worked for you. Modify if needed, and persist.
I do have a suggestion and an invitation- whenever you want my input (on this topic or any other), please post and I will be glad to read and reply to you.
October 15, 2019 at 4:06 am #317915
- This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
Anita, thank you for your help. I will modify excersice and check for results. And be posting about progress and my thoughts. It was really great way to see that Im not alone, this forum and whole site is super helpful 🙂
MegOctober 15, 2019 at 7:01 am #317927
You are welcome. Thank you for expressing your appreciation. I am looking forward to your future posts.
anitaOctober 21, 2019 at 8:25 am #318959
Hi everyone, I want to post some update. For the last few days Ive been trying to this excersise when Im upset and before my sleep. And I dont know what I am doing wrong but now is so much harder to grasp some memory. It came to this that I am sitting, trying to remember my past events with my father, but its like… like my brain sees it and than said „okay, weve been there, what next”. And there is no impact on my mood with this because I cannon grasp a thing recently.
so there is not really a progress in my case
MegOctober 21, 2019 at 8:34 am #318961
Can you make a list (1,2,3…) of all the solutions you did try so to lessen your “anxiety and panic over (neighbors’) sounds, how long you tried each, and results: was there a temporary relief and for how long, plus anything relevant to each tried solution?
And then list the solutions you did not try?
anitaOctober 21, 2019 at 10:50 am #318985
Anita, I will summarize.
1. Breathing excersises before sleep, doing every day for over two weeks, its helping to Relax my body, its like a nice ritual
2. Breathing excersises when I am in panic mode, a few times, its helping for about 15-30 minutes, but Im still thinking about neighbours
3. excersise with comperison about my fathers behaviour and neighbours, a week of evening excersise, before sleep. for the first time worked perfect, I could easily remeber my emotion in past and now. After about third time Ive done this before sleep, my mind Keeps wandering and the memories of my father are getting weaker, I dont feel this that much as for the first time. So each night its less powerful comparing to first one. In the day I cannot focus, I tried even to write this down. My mind is super absorbed in neighbours and cannot focus on the past and on clear thoughts.
I know that its not like super long, I didnt mean to come and say „oh nothing works after a week or two”. Ive come because its like a safe place to talk about this. And just want to add some more things that I can grasp, another excersise.
I have two ideas, first to start meditate, second to make some tre excersises for coping with ptsd. Some simple after breakfast to meditate and excersises in another part of day.
MegOctober 21, 2019 at 12:03 pm #318989
As far as meditating, I recommend Mark William’s Mindfulness guided meditation series. Regarding PTSD, reading about Complex PTSD may help you (my idea, which you are welcome to abandon at this point, is a result of CPTSD literature that I read a long time ago). The breathing exercises that are working for you, keep doing those. The beginning and ending of every guided meditation I know about is breathing.
A connection has been made in your brain between the neighbors’ sounds and danger. It is difficult to undo this connection. There are people who connect danger to the following things: spiders (arachnophobia), snakes (ophiophobia), confined or crowded paces (claustrophobia), heights (acrophobia), leaving home (agoraphobia), and so on.
Wikipedia on the topic of Phobia states: “A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder, defined by a persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation… If the feared object or situation cannot be avoided, the affected person experiences significant distress”.
Seems to me that your fear of your neighbors’ sounds is a phobia and therefore any good professional information and suggestions for treatment regarding phobias that are already classified and titled can help you as well. Maybe a self help book regarding this or that phobia will be helpful to you.
I suggested this at the beginning of your thread- moving out. But you wrote that it is not an option and that there will be neighbors elsewhere as well. It would be nice though if you had quieter neighbors. Older neighbors are not necessarily the answers though- I had an unbelievably noisy neighbor in her sixties or seventies, she was hard of hearing and had the TV/ radio so very, very loud from early morning to late night, so if you moved, better research who the neighbors are before moving.
October 23, 2019 at 4:47 am #319273
- This reply was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
I recently found on another forum a few people describing the same problem as mine. They too dont know how to handle it, but Now I know that Im not imagining this. I came here because I thought that maybe here someone expierienced this too and is fihthing as myself.
I dont want to move and escape for the rest of my life. And from another forum I know that it will be a pattern. I told before, same thing was on my vacation, I just make a pattern and place do not matter that much.
Thank you all for your good wishes and I would ask a moderator for deleting this topic.October 23, 2019 at 7:44 am #319293
You are welcome. Why do you want to delete this topic? People can benefit reading it!
anitaJanuary 25, 2020 at 1:34 pm #335002PatrickParticipant
THANK you for not deleting this topic.
I was wondering… first, how you´re doing on this subject now, and second, if you could maybe tell me where to find that forum you were talking about?
Reading your posts I thought I was reading my own story. I actually live in a very quiet place now, but I´ve had those anxiety problems with all kinds of neighbors and outside noises for YEARS before that, they´ve gotten better and worse and better again, and I sort of brought them with me. As I said, we live in a pretty quiet appartment now, we don´t even have downstairs neighbors here (they are almost never home), but even the slightest sound of a door slamming or footsteps makes me jump sometimes. When there´s unusual disturbances, like people using a hammer and stuff like that, I can slide right into a full on panic attac. I LOVE this appartment, I live with my boyfriend now, it´s actually like a lot of my dreams come true, but in times like these I am in constant panic, I don´t know where to go and what to do and keep telling him that I think we will have to move out. Which I don´t want at all.
Apparently the neighbors next to us moved out and somebody new moved in. That triggered my anxiety again, which was almost gone the weeks before. I was used to our “old” neighbors, now there´s new sounds, moving sounds, a child that likes running around…
Anyway… I´m looking for every possible way out of this. Right now I´m mostly avoiding, I listen to background music all the time, wear earplugs etc. But I´d love to just be able to do something in the living room WITHOUT music, without worrying, sometimes there´s an entire day where you hear almost nothing, but I wouldn´t even notice cause I´m anticipating…
So IDK, if you found some answers… I´d be happy if you want to share them… I´m new here so I don´t know about the possibility of private messages if you don´t want to share in this thread anymore.
Thank you, hope you´re doing good,