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megan-nicole

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  • #73533
    megan-nicole
    Participant

    Thank you everyone. I’ve had a rough past couple of years and that alone has really contributed to knocking me down. I’ve lost a lot, I’ve lost people I truly truly cared about…I don’t want to make that mistake again. What if I don’t give him the chance and he really has had an eyeopener? Of course, I know, he’s had plenty of times prior to this to “open his eyes;” but I still am in fear of letting go to something that may be worth it. Ugh I don’t know.

    #73511
    megan-nicole
    Participant

    I’m such a “benefit of the doubter.” Can someone like this actually improve these behaviors? i.e. treat someone better? Last night he actually admitted that he was wrong (first time he’s done that ha), and he’s just so convincing. I know, I know; now I’m probably being stupid…But, I feel so conflicted and pulled all over the place. One day I’m 100% sure I can do this; then, next thing you know, I’m questioning myself again…thinking maybe now that he sees how he’s been, he won’t continue.

    But, I also know the desperation and “offerings” that can and usually do occur after a break up. I also, however, believe in eye-opening experiences, learning from wrong-doings, and working on correcting bad patterns oneself displays. Someone can tell me I’m stupid in this case lol…Seriously, maybe it’s what I need to hear. He just now sounds so sincere. I can’t believe the ups and downs in all of this!

    #73472
    megan-nicole
    Participant

    Ugh the bipolar thing!! He has always said, “I don’t know which you I’m gonna get today.”

    As far as physical, he has pushed me and he got in my face one day, screaming at the top of his lungs; then preceded to grab my hands and punch HIMSELF in the face…I pretty much took that as a warning sign of, “uh, this could be you one day…that could be your face.”

    I appreciate your comment a lot. I guess I am, above all else, looking for validation…Because, of course, I feel guilty after being accused of so much from him and made to feel like the “bad” person. I hate the guilt, the doubt, and the emptiness of this whole situation. It’s amazing how someone can you treat you so poorly, yet with one conversation, that same person can manage to turn your whole thought process around.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)