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January 14, 2020 at 12:48 am in reply to: Boyfriend says unsure about himself and his feelings #333307
MelissaParticipantDear Anita,
I do not think that I will accept him marrying other woman and continue a relationship with me. Also, I think this is not his intention so far. He break the news on Jan 8th that he agreed on the arrangement, but till this day he is still texting me. Since we are also office colleagues, we still meet each other. I can see how depressed he is, both for work and personal matters.
At the moment, I am at the point of letting him go. I will let him make that decision if he wants to proceed, then he may. I am taking few days to cool myself down and let him to be sure about his decision, so we will have no regrets.
Melissa
January 12, 2020 at 11:11 pm in reply to: Boyfriend says unsure about himself and his feelings #333049MelissaParticipantDear Mark and Peggy,
Despite all the logic answer you have given me, I am so weak that I gave another chance. Here I am 5 months later and despite trying to work this on, he told me a week ago he has agreed to marry the other woman. We argued and left without any final conclusion.
You both are right, this is never ending if he still needs approval. I am recovering myself again trying to see more possibilities out there. He still texts me and pick me up to have dinner and a stroll, but we has not discuss anything about our relationship.
This morning I have decided to stop seeking for him. Maybe he thinks I will stay forever, but I just need to stop my mind from thinking about him. I shall confront him in few days when each one of us is calmer, I must tell him that I cannot do this anymore, if he wants me then we must face the parents together, if no then it is a farewell that I should have said months ago.
The pain is so real either to move on or to stay.
Many thanks,
Melissa
MelissaParticipantDear Peggy,
I spoke to him and found out that the ex was mad that he was not going to marry her after they slept together in the distant past and that makes makes him feeling guilty that she said he was her first. For me, it is like, come on, you both broke up almost 2 years ago long before he met me and she brought this up when he tried to cut all ties with him.
You are right, I do not need this emotional roller coaster, if he cannot make his mind then so be it. I will decide to move on and be happy anyway. I deserve it, my daugther deserves it
Mark/Peggy,
After leaving him be for few days, and reading your advises, i felt that it is not necessary for me to burden mysef in this kind of relationship. There are a lot of things I need to figure out and ask mysef, but I am sure that I will decide what is best for me and my daugther, regardless how i feel.
Thank you so much for the insight
Melissa
MelissaParticipantHi Mark,
Your reply is very logical and truthful, with all this feelings i have inside, it hurts to admit. I am trying to work on it
I read a lot of relationship advise saying i should leave him for at least 21 days so he has time to think about what he wants from us. I do mot know whether this is a good idea
It all started very firm that he is very sure about us. But a long the way doubt built in inside him. I do not know if culture plays a big part, we are Asian living in Asia.
To ask mysef back questions you mentioned is though.
I couldn’t sleep well lately, especially last night. I kept on waking up every hour.
Melissa
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