Hi all,
thank you so so much for your input! I loved to read your take on the situation!

@Anita Your words really hit me.. and with that I guess they also hit the nail on the head. I was really touched when reading this and while I knew it must stem from my parental relationship, I never considered my mother that much in the equation but rather my father. Thank you so much! It really opened up another way of thinking about the situation on some dynamics I have in all kind of relationships. I saw a psychotherapist last year and I am surprised that she never mentioned this. Thank you!!! 🙂 What I also just remembered is the fact, that it didn’t bug me that he left, when we didn’t live together. But later when we started to live together, those feelings of abandonment kicked in. Like “being left behind in our home” etc. Which is strange, cause I really enjoy alone time too. It’s all so contradictory somehow, that I feel sometimes like an idiot.

@Eliana Thank you for your words! That was the direction I have been thinking into too – that I unconsciously get triggered and get put back into the situation of my parents separating.

We try to talk as often as possible, but should try to do more video calls, you are right! Thank you!!

@Kindness Yes, the physical separation does take a toll and we need to work on keeping our connection intact when he is gone. And well, I do worry, because I care for him and I hate it that he comes home after 5 days away and doesn’t feel welcome. But that’s a matter of talking again about it and hopefully create more understanding for the situation. I totally do understand that it makes him feel bad and I would love to change that but it’s not just done with  “getting over myself and being affectionate when he is back”. It’s deeper than that.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by MeowAnna.